


Earnest Intentions & Troublesome Notions

by Interrobanng



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Action, Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Long, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Pining, Romance, Secret Identity, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 13:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14286291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interrobanng/pseuds/Interrobanng
Summary: The one where Chat has an allergic reaction, Marinette has a plan, Ladybug has a secret message and Adrien has questions. Rated for suggestive themes, mild nudity and dramatic smooches. No smut. Lots of fluff and angst. Identity Reveal and Hurt/Comfort (mostly Comfort).(see fic for note on rating)





	Earnest Intentions & Troublesome Notions

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! This is my first Miraculous Ladybug fic, so please excuse any unintentional canon divergences. 
> 
> A Quick Note On The Rating: I decided to play it safe and rate this as mature. Honestly, I think it could probably be rated Teen and that would be fine, but since the intended audience for the show is so much younger than the fandoms I usually write for I decided to err on the side of caution. There's nothing that I would consider smut, but there are make-out descriptions and some more risqué innuendos that may or may not be obvious, depending on how you read them. I've definitely read Judy Blume books more explicit than this fic, so I think it'll be okay. Just FYI in case this information is relevant to you before you start reading.

_Disclaimer:_

_The Author: I do not own Miraculous Ladybug, the characters or any associated properties._

_Mr. X: That’s it?_

_The Author: It’s a one shot. We don’t want to scare anyone away with castles and robots and exciting mini-plots. So yeah, that’s it._

_Enjoy the fic, folks._

_***_

**_Earnest Intentions & Troublesome Notions_ **

 

 

Let’s clear one thing up, right at the beginning: ladybugs might look pretty, but they do not _smell_ pretty.

On her lonesome, a solitary ladybug doesn’t leave that much of an impression. She is small, spotted, useful for dealing with aphid infestations and for distracting sticky-fingered children. But in a swarm, ladybugs are a plague of biblical proportions. A ladybug swarm darkens the sky and fills the air with a sickening, stomach-churning clicking sound. If anyone is ever unlucky enough to find themselves in the midst of a ladybug storm, the trick is to keep your nose and mouth covered. Ladybug swarms are infamous the world over for sending sour bitter-tasting bugs down unsuspecting throats. But the smell is by far the worst part—musk and chemicals, like moldy toilet bowl cleanser.

So it wasn’t quite as easy as one, two, three, presto. When the akuma was de-evilized and the city was put to rights, it wasn’t as neat and pretty as it looked. The swarm of magical ladybug helpers was loud and stinky and the clicking sound made the hair on the back of Marinette’s neck stand up. But the swarm was effective. It had never failed. That was one of the nice things about her powers—they were _consistent._ She worked her mojo, and everything went back to normal, every time.

The swarm was gone, the damage to the surrounding buildings had been repaired, so why was Chat Noir still giving her that goofy slack-jawed look he’d been wearing while he was under Lie Detector’s thrall?

A faint cough from behind her reminded Marinette that Ladybug still had a job to do. She turned around and focused her attention on the middle-aged housewife lying in the middle of the street. The woman squinted blearily at Ladybug as she knelt before her and offered a sympathetic smile.

“It’s going to be okay now, Mlle Gerard.” The superhero said.

“But…what happened?” The housewife asked.

“You were akumatized, but it’s over now. You’re safe and so is everyone else.” Ladybug explained.

Mimi Gerard shook her head despairingly. “It’s all my fault! I was so angry!”

“It’s okay to be angry when someone important lies to you.” Marinette had a lot of sympathy for the older woman. On a near daily basis, she dealt with people who had been akumatized over far pettier grievances than finding out her husband has been sleeping with the friendly neighborhood mailman for the last three years. Especially if the mailman also happened to be her brother-in-law _and_ a beneficiary of a life insurance policy taken out in her name. And even _more_ especially if it turned out her husband was a secret agent working for a hostile government who was only sleeping with her brother-in-law/mailman because it gave him easier access to the deepest darkest secrets of the postal service.

Mimi Gerard might look like an ordinary housewife, but her love life told a very different story.

Marinette could have been akumatized just as easily if their positions were reversed, though she was already making mental notes to avoid ever ending up in Mlle Gerard’s shoes. _Step One: Never get life insurance. Step Two: Never get a husband. Step Three: Well, I guess it’s harder to avoid mailmen than husbands. Wait, **should** I get life insurance? Is that something superheroes can do? _  “Just make sure you don’t use that anger against people who don’t deserve it.”

Mimi Gerard grabbed Ladybug’s hand and bowed her head gratefully. “Yes, Ladybug! I promise! Thank you!”

Ladybug smiled and helped her to her feet, but her eyes were already back on her partner. Why was he still sitting on the ground? Why was he staring at that pigeon like that? Wait—why was he _laughing_ at the pigeon like that?

Marinette bit her lip. Something was wrong with Chat Noir. “I’m sorry, Mlle Gerard, but we have to go!” And before the police or the press could arrive and ask for a statement, Ladybug grabbed Chat Noir and disappeared over the rooftops.

She had to find a safe place to hide. She was going to have to change back soon, at least until Tikki could recharge, but Chat Noir was scaring her.

He managed to keep up, but only because she was holding his hand and dragging him along with her. His head lolled to the side and he kept laughing for no apparent reason. Finally, she found a sheltered spot in a thicket of smokestacks. She spun around and grabbed his shoulders, slamming him against the metal chimney.

“What has gotten into you?” She hissed, searching his eyes for that familiar sarcastic gleam. All she saw was numbness.

Chat giggled hysterically but when he answered his voice was flat and empty, as if he were two different people using the same mouth. “Lie Detector’s truth serum is still having an effect on me.”

“But we defeated Lie Detector!” Marinette protested. “The akuma is gone! You should be back to normal!”

He just shrugged and started laughing again.

“Why are you laughing?!” She demanded furiously. Ensorcelled or not, she didn’t approve of how he wasn’t taking this at all seriously.

Chat stopped laughing immediately. “There are pigeons on the wall behind you.”

“Are your allergies acting up?” She vaguely remembered that he was allergic to pigeons, but only because Adrien was also allergic to pigeons and she’d made a mental note of it.

“I don’t think so. One of the pigeons is walking back and forth.”

“So?”

“I think pigeons look funny when they walk.”

Marinette sized him up. She only had a few minutes before she had to turn back, but she couldn’t leave Chat Noir alone in his current state. “Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. If I ask you a question, you have to answer honestly?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. Are you in any pain?”

“No.”

“Do you know why the serum is still working?”

“No.”

“If I leave you by yourself for 15 minutes, will you promise to stay here and not move or do anything until I get back?”

“No.”

Marinette scowled. “Why not?”

Chat shrugged again. “I will almost certainly get bored and wander off.”

Well, at least he was being honest.

Faint beeping alerted her to the fact that she had precious few seconds to make a decision. She couldn’t leave Chat Noir alone, not until she knew for sure what was wrong with him. Her home was nearby, but it was risky. Even if she could get Chat Noir into her bedroom without her parents noticing, _he_ was bound to notice that Ladybug was using Marinette’s room when Marinette was not there. Chat knew both of them—he would surely be suspicious.

 _Then again…_ she thought as she watched him double over laughing at pigeons and their awkward bobbing gait. _Maybe not._

More beeping. She was out of time and options.

“Don’t make me regret this, kitty.” She whispered as she slung his arm over her shoulder and headed towards home.

As they flew through the air, Chat rolled his head close to her ear and whispered, “I love it when you call me kitty.” His breath passed over the shell of her ear and sent a distracting tingle down her spine.

“Good to know.” She said through gritted teeth, trying to focus on where she was putting her feet and not on the lithe leathered body halfway in her arms.

They landed on her balcony with a heavy thud. Marinette stuck her head through the skylight first to make sure that the coast was clear. Her bedroom was empty and when she held her breath and listened close she could hear the sounds of her parents working in the bakery downstairs. “Okay, Chat, come with—”

_Beep_

She felt the transformation begin, the suit disappearing starting at her fingertips. “I’m sorry!” Tikki wailed as she spiralled to the ground, her whole body pulsing with exertion. They’d been fighting Lie Detector since early that morning, and the tiny kwami was at the very end of her rope. “I’m so sorry Marinette!”

Ladybug—now revealed as Marinette—sat still, frozen, petrified, unable to do anything but stare into Chat Noir’s eerie green eyes and hope, dream, pray that this was only a nightmare. Her heart hammered against her rib cage and her mind was fuzzy, clouded, trapped between fight and flight. She knew she should move—do something—hide her face—run away— _anything_ , but she couldn’t. All she could do was…wait.

One second, two seconds, three seconds she waited and then Chat Noir began to laugh. His laughter made her angry and she latched onto that anger like a life line. “What’s so funny?” She snapped. “More pigeons?”

Chat shook his head and pointed at her. Was it her imagination or did his eyes look even glossier than before? “It is funny because Ladybug is Marinette.” He pointed back at his own face. “And Chat Noir is Adrien. Chat loves Ladybug, even though he knows she doesn’t love him back, because Ladybug who is Marinette loves Adrien who is Chat. And Adrien can’t be with Marinette, even though he loves her too, because he’s waiting for Ladybug to choose Chat. But she can’t choose Chat because she’s in love with Adrien and being with Chat when she’s in love with Adrien wouldn’t be fair to Chat or Adrien, who are both me.” He laughed again at her stunned expression. “See? It’s funny.”

And then he slumped over and fell, unconscious, across her lap.

Marinette continued sitting there for a very long time, opening and closing her mouth like a stupefied carp, ignoring the pinch of his chin jutting into her thigh. Slowly, a feeling took root in her chest. That feeling fed and watered the seed of a thought, which grew into an idea which then branched out and blossomed into a plan.

Eventually, it started to rain.

 

***

 

Pink.

That was his first sight, thought and sensation upon regaining consciousness: pink. He was completely surrounded by pink. For a terrifying moment, Adrien feared he had been swallowed by some unknown pink-themed akuma villain but then he remembered that he’d seen this color before. He was in Marinette’s room. He’d been here before, as both Adrien and Chat Noir.

Adrien lifted his arm and was a little surprised to find black leather and claws. He was Chat right now, too. He was in Marinette’s room as Chat Noir. But he could not for the life of him remember how he had gotten there. The last thing he could recall was…

“Ladybug!” Adrien sat straight up, the blankets falling away. He was lying in a bed—Marinette’s bed—and it was dark outside. Adrien’s heart sank. The last thing he remembered was pushing Ladybug out of the way of Lie Detector’s truth serum infection-beam. How long had he been out? Was the battle over? Was Ladybug okay?

“You’re awake.” A familiar voice drew his attention to the other side of the room, where Marinette was sitting in front of her computer and watching him with a strange, conflicted expression. At least, that’s what he thought he saw. But the expression was gone in an instant and replaced with a kind smile. “Good. I’m so relieved. I didn’t know what was wrong with you so I’ve just been letting you sleep.” A pink hue to match the wallpaper spread over her cheeks. “Oh! I mean, I was checking your breathing and um, I don’t want you to think I was ignoring you or anything, I just—”

Adrien shook his head. He didn’t have time for this, not when Ladybug needed him. “Marinette, how did I get here? Is Ladybug alright?”

“You don’t remember?” Again he thought he saw a strange look in her eyes, and again it was gone before he could be certain it had been there at all. “Relax. Everything’s fine, including Ladybug. She defeated the akuma after you rescued her, and then she brought you here after the battle. She told me to tell you she’s safe and that you shouldn’t take risks like that anymore.” She got up from the desk and approached the bed slowly, holding out a folded piece of paper. “Here, she left you a note.”

Adrien grabbed the note and eagerly unfolded it.

 

_Morning, kitty._

_After the akuma was defeated, you passed out so I brought you someplace safe. Rest up until you feel better. I had to go before I turned back into a pumpkin._

_Next time, it’s my turn to rescue you. Even if you think you feel okay, take it easy. Today was kinda scary._

_Thanks for trying to rescue me._

_Earnestly, Ladybug._

The note bore Ladybug’s signature, a design resembling her namesake. It was authentic. Ladybug must have been about to transform back, that’s why she left him with Marinette, who they both knew to be trustworthy.

Adrien allowed himself to relax back into the soft, pink, satin sheets, just a little bit. Ladybug was safe. Paris was also safe, but honestly that was more of a secondary concern for him, even on a good day. And he always got a warm feeling in his stomach whenever she called him kitty.

“How are you feeling?”

Adrien jumped a little. All of a sudden, Marinette was sitting on the side of the bed, peering into his eyes with startling intensity. The warmth in his belly grew under her gaze and he shifted nervously. Had Marinette’s room always been this small? Had her bed always been this soft and inviting? “Okay, I guess.” He answered. His tongue felt clumsy in his mouth.

Marinette frowned. “Are you sure?”

He forced himself to dawn his trademark smirk. “Of course, princess. This sort of thing happens to us superheroes every day.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow and he couldn’t help but trace its upward trajectory with his eyes. She seemed less annoyed than she usually was with Chat, more comfortable than she usually was with Adrien. He liked it. “You don’t often get knocked out for 10 hours straight, definitely not every day. Are you _sure_ you’re feeling okay?”

Adrien blinked, his smirk fading fast. “10 hours?” Had it really been that long? He’d missed school. And dinner. And work. _Dad must be furious._ Adrien began to struggle with the pink blankets that surrounded him. “I have to go—” He froze when he felt Marinette place her small hand against his shoulder and he did not resist when she gently pushed him back into the pillows. His brain checked out and went on vacation without bothering to stop the mail when she leaned over him. Here he was, lying in Marinette’s bed, with Marinette sitting beside him, leaning over his body so that they were nose-to-nose, her hands resting on either side of his head, and she was still _looking_ at him, like…like…like she wanted to… _do_ something…or…um…pretty…

“Bad kitty.” Marinette scolded, her voice low and sultry. The warmth that filled his body was getting hotter, too hot, burning him up from the inside. “You’re sick. You should rest here tonight.”

Adrien’s mouth was so dry it took him three tries to make words come out of it. “I…I feel…”

_Like I want to eat you up._

But he couldn’t say that, now could he?

“…fine?” He finished uncertainly, his voice lilting at the end of the sentence and turning it into a question.

She didn’t look like she believed him, and he didn’t blame her. He didn’t feel fine. He felt hot and sweaty and a little itchy and like he needed to get out of this leather suit, or maybe stay _in_ the suit and—

_Beep_

Marinette’s phone chirped and the sound reminded him of something. He couldn’t quite remember what it was, because she was licking her lips and they were _so close_ , but it was something important…

The suit! Plagg! The poor cat must be exhausted. Adrien turned his head away from the tempting visage hovering above him with a tremendous amount of effort. “I-I have to go.” He stammered. At first he was worried Marinette would continue to argue, a prospect he didn’t know if his body could handle or his willpower resist, but instead she nodded and scooched away. He felt a pang of regret as the distance between them increased, which he shoved to the back of his mind. No time for that now. “Thanks for everything, Princess.” He reached out to kiss her hand, but thought better of it at the last second. He pushed himself out of the bed and fled through the open window before he could do anything foolish, like wrapping Marinette in his arms and kissing her lips instead of her fingers.

“Good night, kitty.” Marinette sighed, smiling at his retreating form, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Sweet dreams.”

 

***

 

“En garde. Allez!”

Advance. Lunge. Parry. Retreat. Retreat. Parry. Advance. Lunge.

“Match!”

Adrien stepped back and lowered his foil, panting heavily. He had stayed late after his own fencing lessons to help with the beginner’s level classes. Even though the school was currently on break, the fencing club continued to meet and he could earn extra credit by helping out. That was particularly useful since, between being a superhero and being a professional fashion model, he ended up missing a lot of class time. The exercises he was helping the younger children practice weren’t particularly complicated or challenging, mostly just moving forwards and backwards and occasionally sticking the point of your foil into the chest of your opponent if you could manage it, but for some reason he was feeling lethargic and drained. He gave a little wave to the trainer, who nodded understandingly, and slipped into the locker room to change back into street clothes.

He made a beeline ( _ha, bugline_ ) for the showers, stripping down as fast as he could and tilting his face into the lukewarm water. He groaned gratefully as he felt some of the tension in his shoulders begin to release.

He hadn’t slept well last night. Maybe it was because he’d been unconscious for so long, but Adrien suspected it had more to do with the visions of bluebell eyes and plump pink lips that danced before him every time he started to doze off. To make matters worse, his sleep-deprived brain couldn’t seem to decide which girl those alluring features belonged to. It was confusing. He loved them both, he _knew_ he did, so why did his dreaming mind keep trying to shove the two girls together into a Ladybug/Marinette amalgam? A Ladynette? A Maribug? Those dreams made him uncomfortable, as if he wasn’t treating either girl with the respect she deserved.

Right now, he wanted nothing more than to change into Chat Noir and go find Ladybug and demand an explanation. What went down with Lie Detector? What had happened to him to make him unconscious for 10 full hours? Why had he woken up in Marinette’s bed?

Adrien wrinkled his nose. Okay, maybe when he finally found Ladybug, he should think of another way to phrase that last particular question. He didn’t want Ladybug getting the wrong idea, after all. Then again, Ladybug was the one who left him with Marinette in the first place, and he doubted Marinette was strong enough to get him into her bed all by herself. Ladybug was probably the person who had put him in Marinette’s bed. Or maybe Ladybug and Marinette had worked together? If only he’d been awake at the time, then the three of them—

Adrien shook his head. All he had to do was transform, find her and ask. Ladybug wouldn’t lie to him. There was no point in imagining ridiculous impossible things. He was already doing plenty of that during the few winks of sleep he managed to catch.

With a sigh, he turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before heading back to his locker to fetch a change of clothes. As he emerged from the shower stalls, he heard a smothered yelp and a loud thump. He dashed over to the open window and stared down.

“Ladybug?”

The girl, who had been featured so prominently in his thoughts just moments ago, rubbed her neck and glanced up at him sheepishly from her landing spot in the flower bed. The locker room was on the ground floor—she must have been sitting in the window and had fallen out when she saw him. Her cheeks were almost as red as her mask. “Sorry!” She squeaked bashfully, and his heart melted at seeing his normally cool and collected Lady so undone by the sight of him modestly exposed. It wasn’t hard on his ego, neither. “I-I didn’t realize you were—um—I mean, I can come back if—or, no, I can’t come back but—um—uh…hi?”  

Adrien would never admit to preening, not in a million years, but if someone found the right bribe he might, in private, admit to standing a little taller. _Maybe_ he leaned out a little further so she could have a better view of the droplets of water falling down his chest. _Maybe._ “Hi. I’m glad you’re here, I was just gonna go looking for you.”

Ladybug visibly pulled herself together, both emotionally and by standing up so their faces were just shy of level. “Oh? And why is Adrien Agreste looking for Ladybug?” She didn’t sound embarrassed or flustered anymore. If anything, she sounded coy, as if she knew something he didn’t.

“Uh…” His mind went blank and he started to panic. Why _was_ Adrien Agreste looking for Ladybug? It was Chat Noir who needed to speak with her, not Adrien. To buy himself some time, he stammered: “L-let me get dressed first, then we’ll talk.”

She shook her head, and though he couldn’t be certain he thought he saw a flicker of disappointment behind the mask. “I can’t stay. I just wanted to make sure you’re feeling okay?” The flicker was gone, replaced by an impish twinkle.

“Uh…yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” Adrien replied, his mouth moving automatically without any input from his brain, which had stalled out. “How are you?”

_How are you? What is **wrong** with me?_

Ladybug smiled slightly and, standing on her tippy-toes, pressed her lips against his cheek. It was the barest, briefest of touches, but it left his skin on fire. “Good. See you later.” And with that, she was gone.

Adrien stayed there, leaning halfway out the window and dripping on the flattened tulips, until gravity snatched his towel down his hips and he suddenly remembered where he was.

He spun around and raced towards his locker.

“Plagg!” He cried. “Claws—”

“Before you finish that sentence,” The tiny black cat interjected wryly. “I recommend getting dressed first. Don’t want to change back somewhere in the middle of Paris with no clothes on. Could be problematic, career-wise.”

“Which career? Model, student or superhero?” Adrien asked as he tried to put on his underwear and his shirt at the same time.

“Pick one.”

 

***

 

Marinette wanted to laugh, scream, cry and cheer wildly all at the same time. She knew if she tried to make any of those noises all that would come out would be an embarrassingly high-pitched squee so she kept her lips clenched firmly shut. It wouldn’t do for any of the good and decent citizens of Paris to spot Ladybug giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl, even though that was _exactly_ what she was doing. On the inside.

_I kissed Adrien!_

She found the location in the park she’d scouted earlier where she could safely transform behind a tall thicket that shielded her from prying eyes.

_Oh my god—I kissed Adrien!_

She’d never understood the appeal of sky-writing until this very moment. But this news was so huge, so monumental, so mind-blowing that in the sky seemed the only appropriate place to share it—which she wouldn’t be doing with anyone, not even Alya. Sure, it was just a peck on the cheek and sure, it had technically happened before (and a little more than a peck on the cheek, too) but _this_ time was different.  

This time, she _knew_.

The only problem was, _he_ didn’t.

It would have been easier if he remembered the things he had said while under the influence of the truth serum. Oh, it would have also been infinitely more complicated, because they would have had to talk about it and talking about it raised the possibility of being overheard. If someone overheard them, even if that person didn’t understand what precisely they were talking about, Hawk Moth would surely find out. Then her friends, her family, Adrien and everyone around them would be in terrible danger. Just the thought of that was more than she could bare, and it was why she hadn’t yet told him what he had said or what he had seen when her Miraculous wore off. She was frightened.

But it would have also been easier, because then they would _both_ know.

Ah well. _C’est la vie._ Her plan was a lot more fun, anyway. “Spots off.”

Tikki flew into the air in front of her face and crossed her arms. “Are you sure you want to do this, Marinette? It could be dangerous. Someone might get hurt.”

“It’ll be fine, Tikki.” Marinette assured her. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

Tikki could have responded that she very much doubted that. She could have said that she was thousands of years old (13.8 billion, to be technically accurate, but who was counting) and had known hundreds of Ladybugs, and that in her experience humans very rarely knew what they were doing, especially when it came to affairs of the heart. Particularly _young_ humans, who tended to be impatient and impulsive. She was worried for Marinette. Come to think of it, she was also worried for Adrien.

But because Tikki was a lot more experienced than Marinette, she knew Marinette wouldn’t listen to her. Some mistakes you just have to make for yourself. With a sigh, she zipped into Marinette’s purse and curled up with a snickerdoodle.

“I hope you’re right, Marinette. For your own sake.”

Marinette closed the purse with a snap and smiled. She wasn’t worried, her plan was genius. She _did_ feel a little guilty. But how many times had Marinette made a fool out of herself in front of Adrien? How many times had Chat Noir made Ladybug blush with his innuendo and cavorting? She’d never realized it until Chat was infected by the truth serum, but he had always had the upper hand. Well, it was her turn. Just for a little bit.

Marinette sat down on a park bench, pulled a short pencil and a palm-sized sketchbook out of her pocket, and began to draw passersby as she waited.

She knew she wouldn’t have to wait long.

 

***

 

 

Chat Noir searched high and low for his Ladybug, but try as he might he could not find her.

He did find Marinette, though.

She was sitting all alone on a bench overlooking the canal that bordered the park. What was usually a sleepy trickle of water was now a steady stream, thanks to the rain from last night. She was bent over a sketchpad, her brow furrowed in concentration, the tip of her tongue poking out from the corner of her mouth. Adrien didn’t mean to stop. He was supposed to be looking for Ladybug. But when he saw Marinette roll her shoulders back, exposing her long slender neck, he found his feet planted firmly on the ground a few meters behind her without any instructions from his brain, and no matter what he told them his feet refused to move in any direction other than towards Marinette. As he crept up behind the dark-haired girl, he told himself that Marinette was friends with Ladybug (though, to be honest, he’d never really understood how that worked—on the other hand, Ladybug also seemed close with Alya, so maybe it was just how she connected with her fans) so maybe she knew where Ladybug was and he would be able to ask her, which was all perfectly innocent.

It was worth a shot.

His black claws were reaching towards her shoulder when she turned her head and saw him, her blue eyes lighting up. He immediately pulled back, his heart pounding, as if he’d been caught doing something wrong. She smiled up at him.

“Hello Chat. Looking for someone?”

“Uh…” How had she managed to put him off balance so quickly? _He_ was supposed to be surprising _her_ , dammit! “Yeah. Ladybug. I was talking with her not too long ago, but we got interrupted. Have you seen her?” Was it just his imagination, or had Marinette been acting a little odd since last night?

Come to think of it, Ladybug had seemed like she was in a funny mood as well…though it was harder to tell, since she always acted differently around Adrien than she acted around Chat Noir.

Marinette shook her head. “I haven’t, sorry. I hope it wasn’t anything too important that got interrupted.”

Adrien lifted one of his claws to graze the spot on his cheek where he could still feel Ladybug’s lips. He smirked. “I dunno, it seemed pretty important.”

“Oh dear. Is there anything I can do to help?”

His smirk briefly slipped into a leer and his pace quickened at her unintended innuendo and then he was struck by an idea. “You might be able to help, actually.” He said, sliding down beside her, one elbow resting on the back of the bench as he leaned towards her, slightly closer than was strictly necessary. “I wanted to find out more about what happened last night.”

Marinette nodded. “Yes, I thought you might.” She smiled at his confused look. “You ran off before I really had a chance to explain anything.” She turned away from him and opened her purse. He tried to peer over her shoulder but she shifted slightly and prevented him from seeing anything. When she turned back around, she was holding a plain white business card. “You were already unconscious by the time we got you inside my bedroom. It was the truth serum—for some reason, it had an extremely powerful effect on you. Ladybug said that before you blacked out, you were rambling about all kinds of things. I guess you might have revealed some of your deepest darkest secrets?” Her tone as she said that last bit made it clear that she was teasing, but that didn’t stop the bottom from falling out of Adrien’s stomach. He tried desperately to remember what he had said, what horrible or humiliating secret he might have confessed, but no matter how hard he tried all he could remember was grey fog and…pigeons?

No, that couldn’t be right.

Marinette pressed the card into his hand. “Ladybug was really worried about you. She wanted you to go see this man—she didn’t tell me much, just that he’s some kind of expert and that if anyone can help you, he can.”

Filled with happy butterflies at the news that Ladybug had been “really worried” about him, Adrien looked at the card. It was barely a business card. No job title, description, phone number or email; just a name and an address.

“Who’s Master Fu?” He asked. Marinette just shrugged. He grinned and tucked the card into his pocket. “Guess I’ll have to go and find out.” He leaned forward and, before he could lose his nerve, brushed his mouth against her cheek, his leather mask scraping on her velvet skin. He aimed for the exact same spot where Ladybug had kissed him. He leaned back and felt a flare of satisfaction at her wide, startled eyes and the twin roses blooming on her cheeks. He tried not to think about it too often, because thinking about it just made him feel frustrated and heartsick, but he knew that Marinette loved him as Adrien. That was why he only ever allowed himself to be this forward with her when he was Chat. It was safer this way. “Thanks princess.” He winked and jumped away.

When Marinette was certain he was gone, she smirked and crossed her arms. “See, Tikki?” She said loudly. “My plan is working perfectly.”

Tikki, still inside the purse, just shook her head and returned to her nap.

 

***

 

Adrien kept looking for Ladybug on his way to meet Master Fu, but he never found her. By the time he arrived at the address, he was starting to feel concerned. Where was she? Why wasn’t she answering his calls to her yo-yo?

Was she avoiding him?

Was it something he said?

Oh god, what if he’d told her something really embarrassing? Like that time when he was 12 and he got a boner because his elderly neighbor’s lace curtains reminded him of a girl’s skirt lifted by an idle breeze? Or the time he’d eaten some bad sea food during his lunch break and then ruined a summer catalogue shoot by barfing fried shrimp all over the bikini models?

What if he’d told her his secret identity?

No, that couldn’t possibly be it, because he’d seen her as Adrien and she hadn’t acted any differently than she usually did. Well, except for…

He touched the spot on his cheek for the 347th time that day.

But, no, that didn’t make any sense. If Ladybug knew Adrien was Chat Noir, why on earth would she kiss Adrien? Besides, there was someone else she liked, she’d told him so. Whoever that other boy was, if she rejected Chat Noir for him there was no way she’d go for a guy she barely knew like Adrien Agreste. No, it had to be something else.

He just really, _really_ hoped it hadn’t been either of the first two things.

“Are you coming inside?” The old man’s voice cut through his thoughts. Adrien looked up and saw a short elderly man with a mustache and a goatee and a bright red Hawaiian shirt, giving him a friendly smile and holding open the door. “Or do you want to stay out here and keep daydreaming a little longer?”

Adrien flushed and, not for the first time, was grateful his mask covered so much of his face. He stuck his hands in his pockets and hurried inside. “Sorry.” He muttered. “Are you Master Fu?”

The old man nodded. “I am. And you are Chat Noir.”

“Yeah. I—”

“Ladybug sent you here.”

“Yeah. Well, sort—”

“You want to know why Lie Detector’s truth serum continued to effect you even after the akuma had been de-evilized and everything else had gone back to normal.”

“Er…yeah.” Adrien blinked. “Sorry. Is there anything about me you _don’t_ already know?”

Master Fu threw back his head and laughed. “Come this way.” The old man said, which Adrien couldn’t help but notice was _not_ an answer to his question. He was led into a brightly lit room where a low tea table was set for two. Master Fu busied himself pouring amber liquid from the steaming kettle into the matching porcelain cups. “Sit, sit. This will take awhile. You might as well be comfortable.”

Adrien did as he was told. “Sorry, but _what_ will take awhile?”

Master Fu waved his hand dismissively. “I will need to run some tests to figure out exactly what happened. Do not concern yourself, you need only stay relaxed and drink your tea. I have also prepared some Camembert for your kwami.”

Adrien blinked, surprised and gratified by this display of hospitality. “Claws in.” He said and Plagg raced through the air towards the plate of cheese with an excited squeak. “You know Plagg?” He asked Master Fu.

Master Fu nodded. “Of course. I know all the kwami.”

Adrien blinked again. “Wait—I remember you! You were walking by on my first day of school and afterwards I found—oh.” His eyes darted to Plagg and then back to Master Fu. _“Ohhh.”_

“I see that you are quick on the uptake. That’s a good quality for a black cat.” Master Fu nodded approvingly. “Now, please hold still while I perform my tests.”

Adrien twisted around as Master Fu settled down behind him. “What tests are you—uh…okay.” He trailed to a stop as the old man closed his eyes and held his open palms a few inches away from Adrien’s back. Adrien faced forward again and silently drank his tea.

Master Fu didn’t move or say anything at all until Adrien had swallowed the last sip of the aromatic liquid. Then the old man suddenly sighed, rose to his feet and returned to the other side of the table, picking up his own cup which had long since gone cold. This was not the full throated reassurance Adrien had been hoping for.

“What’s wrong with me?” Adrien asked urgently. “Is it serious?”

“Not necessarily, though it could become inconvenient, depending on the akumas you face.” Master Fu shrugged. “It appears you have a moderate allergy to truth serum. It isn’t life-threatening, and it shouldn’t interfere with your work now that you are aware of it and can take appropriate precautions, such as keeping your nose and mouth covered.”

Adrien gaped at him. “An allergy? That’s it?”

“That’s it. As long as you don’t come into direct contact with any more truth serum, you should be fine.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes. Oh—and you might want to avoid any foods with fresh squid ink.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes. Squid ink and akuma truth serum have the same basic chemical components. I thought everyone knew that.”

 

***

 

By the time Adrien returned home that evening, much later than he usually did, the house was dark and silent. His father was either asleep or out and the staff had all gone home for the night. He stumbled up the stairs to his room and deposited a snoring Plagg in the tissue-box nest on his desk before collapsing in his bed. He groaned and rolled over onto his back, covering his face with his arm.

He was bone tired. He had left Master Fu with more questions than he arrived with and helpful though the old man was, he could be damn tight-lipped when he wanted to be. Adrien pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his notifications. He had a few missed calls from Nathalie and one from Nino. There was a text from Alya asking if he’d seen Marinette. He almost texted back to tell her he’d seen the black-haired blue-eyed girl in the park, before remembering just in time that while Chat Noir had been seeing a lot of Marinette lately, _Adrien_ hadn’t seen her in several days. He groaned again and threw his phone to the other side of the bed. He was too tired for any of this. All he really wanted to do was talk to Ladybug, but she was still nowhere to be found. Sleep was the next best thing.

_Tap tap_

Adrien rolled over onto his belly and scrunched up his face. “Knock it off, Plagg. I’m trying to sleep.” He muttered.

_Tap tap tap_

Adrien sat straight up, angry words on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them when he saw the person standing on the outside ledge of his window and waving shyly at him, her willowy frame illuminated by the moonlight.

_Ladybug._

Adrien forgot his exhaustion immediately and moved towards the window so fast he almost smashed into the glass. He undid the latch and slid the window open. “Ladybug!” He gasped. “What are you doing here?”

She grinned sheepishly. “I was patrolling and I thought I’d stop by.” She glanced nervously at his bed and his heart stammered when the moonlight cast the side of her face in sharp contrast. She looked ethereal and untouchable, like a goddess, like a ghost. “I’m sorry, were you asleep? I can go if—”

“No!” Before she could turn and leave him again, his hand snapped out and grabbed her slender wrist. She wasn’t untouchable, after all. He swallowed and tried to speak with a calmer voice, even though his heart was racing so fast it threatened to burst from his rib cage. “No, please stay. I’m glad you’re here.”

The smile she gave him as she stepped off the ledge and into his bedroom wasn’t shy; it was dazzling and achingly familiar. With a start, he realized that he had only ever seen her smile like that at Chat, and only on a few fondly remembered occasions. He felt a twinge of jealousy that she was smiling at someone else like that, even though that someone else was still him.

Boy, this secret identity stuff was really starting to mess him up.

For example: he’d been searching for Ladybug since yesterday, but now that she was finally right in front of him he couldn’t actually ask any of the questions bubbling up inside of him. Adrien wasn’t supposed to know anything about kwamis or Master Fu or ancient superhero secrets. He certainly couldn’t start demanding Ladybug explain why she hadn’t shared those secrets with Chat Noir earlier, or why she’d asked Marinette of all people to deliver the old man’s address.

So even though he had just been thinking that the only thing he wanted to do was talk to Ladybug, now that Ladybug was here he couldn’t think of anything to say. They stood in awkward silence as the seconds dragged into minutes. He was sure he was blushing and hoped that the darkness would hide it.

 _I didn’t think this through…_ They both thought at the same time.

“Have you seen Marinette lately? You two go to school together, right?”

“Ye—no. We’re on break right now, so no classes. Why do you ask?”

Ladybug shrugged. “Just curious.” She sat down on the side of his bed and sighed, looking away from him.

Now that he thought about it, she looked worried about something. Adrien immediately felt guilty. Here he was completely wrapped up in his own silly problems, when she clearly had something very important on her mind. “Why’re you here, Ladybug?” He asked her again. “Is something wrong?”

She heaved another sigh and turned in on herself. Within a second, without a thought, he was there, sinking down beside her on his bed. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he didn’t dare. He felt certain that if he actually touched her the magic spell would be broken and she’d leave or he’d wake up or something else equally frustrating and unpalatable.  

“I’m worried about Chat Noir.” The words fell from her lips like raindrops, and his racing heart came to a stand-still. “He was hurt after our last battle and I haven’t been able to find him since.” She turned and looked at him, tears pooling in her eyes. “I’m worried that he’s really sick.”

Adrien was conflicted. Part of him wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shout that _he_ was the one trying to find _her_ and _why hadn’t she answered her yo-yo the dozen or so times he’d tried to call her that day?!_ She was worried? Did she have any idea how worried _he_ had been?! But of course, Adrien Agreste had no way to contact Ladybug let alone a good reason to do so, so he couldn’t say any of that. Another part of him wanted to reassure her, wipe away her tears and tell her that everything was alright, that Chat Noir still had nine lives left and she had nothing to worry about. But of course, why would Adrien Agreste have any inside knowledge about Chat Noir’s private medical affairs? He wasn’t a good enough liar to pull that one off. With Options One and Two off the table, what was he left with?

“Adrien?”

Oh god, she was waiting for him to respond, and here he was gaping at her like a fool.

Was it just his imagination, or were their faces getting closer? Wait, why was he moving towards her? Why wasn’t she moving away?

“Adrien? Are you alright?”

 _Say something! Anything!_  His panicked, sleep-deprived brain screamed at him. He opened his mouth and blurted out the first word that popped into his head.

“Bathroom!”

_You jerk, why would you say **that?**_

The word hung in the few centimeters of air separating his lips from hers like a burp. Ladybug wrinkled her nose and leaned back. “Excuse me?”

He was mentally kicking himself, but it was too late to turn back now. “S-sorry mi—I mean, Ladybug. I have to go to—um…”

“Oh.” Her expression cleared and she moved away a little further. “Right, sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Utterly humiliated, Adrien rose from his bed and groped blindly on his desk until he found Plagg’s tissue box. He snatched it up but kept his hands behind his back so that she couldn’t see what he was doing. “I’ll be right back.” He forced the words out as quickly as he could before dashing to the bathroom door. He fled to the other side before either of them could say anything that might make him feel even worse.

“That went about as well as could be expected.” A sarcastic voice drawled from the tissue box.

“Bite me, Plagg.” Adrien hissed. “Claws out.”

 

***

 

Marinette examined the photographs lining Adrien’s bookshelf while she waited for him to emerge from the bathroom. Most of the pictures were of Adrien and his friends, a few of his co-workers and the household staff, one of his father and five of his mother. She was gratified to see her own unmasked face smiling back at her from more than one of the photographs. She chuckled softly and shook her head. She was so used to being totally tongue-tied in front of Adrien, she hadn’t realized how big a part of his life she actually was until now. Even if he didn’t want to love her as Marinette yet, she was important to him. That was something. And Chat was definitely warming up to Marinette without Ladybug around to constantly distract him. Her plan was working exactly as she thought it would. Now if she could only figure out some way to get Adrien to update her on Chat Noir’s meeting with Master Fu without blowing both their covers.

“Like what you see, milady?” The purr came from just a few inches away from her left ear.

Marinette smiled but didn’t look around. She had suspected he might pull something like this, and so she wasn’t at all surprised that Adrien had transformed into Chat. Strictly speaking, it wasn’t allowed under the rules of the game that she had made up and that he had no idea they were playing, but under the circumstances she’d let him get away with it. Just this once. “Hello kitty. Where have you been?”

“Where have _you_ been?” He slid around her and leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf, crossing his arms and peering curiously into her face. “I’ve been looking for you all day.”

“I’m sorry, kitty.” She crooned. “I was tied up.”

His mask covered so much of his face, and it was quite dark, so she didn’t see him blanch. But she was able to see the sour turn at the corner of his mouth, which she interpreted correctly. “Not literally, Chat. I was just busy. But how are you? Did you see Master Fu?” This was why she had risked coming to Adrien’s bedroom window tonight, after all. She’d tried to tell herself to wait until she could ask Chat Noir about it as Marinette, but her fear that something terrible was happening to her partner had overwhelmed her until she had felt certain that if she did not see his face _right now_ she would fall apart. If she could, she would reach out and wrap her arms around him, bury her face in his chest and listen to his heartbeat until all the fear had left her body, but that would _really_ be breaking the rules of her game. Plus, it wouldn’t help lessen Adrien’s infatuation with the Ladybug mask. She clasped her hands behind her back and took a half-step away from him. She couldn’t tell if he noticed.

“…I did.” Chat replied after a moment’s hesitation. “It’s nothing serious. Turns out I’m allergic to akuma truth serum, that’s all.”

Ladybug stared at him, her eyes so wide they filled the margins of her mask. “…An allergy? You’re sure? That’s all?”

He nodded. “That’s all.”

All the air went out of her in a great big whoosh and she sank to the floor, cradling her head in her hands. She didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry.

“Ladybug?” He sounded a little scared. He’d never seen her look this fragile before. He fell to his knees before her and reached out, but he lost his nerve halfway through. His outstretched hand hovered in the air between them.

“I thought you were gonna _die._ ” She choked out. “Last night when…when you didn’t wake up, I t-thought…” Her bottom lip began to quiver as her tears threatened to spill over. Crying it was, then. “I was so scared you would stop b-breathing and there was n-nothing I could d—mph!”

He was kissing her.

He was kissing her!

Oh. Wait. No, he wasn’t kissing her. He was kissing _her_ , his idea of who she was, which wasn’t at all what she really wanted. She wanted him to kiss _her,_ the real her, the her that was both Marinette _and_ Ladybug. She didn’t want him to kiss her because she was upset; she wanted him to kiss her because he understood, especially since he was the only person in the entire world who _could_ understand. She wanted him to _know_. Until then, it didn’t really count.

But another treacherous, traitorous part of her desperately wanted to kiss him back, even if it didn’t count. His silken lips undulated against her own and she wasn’t able to stop herself from parting hers a little wider and allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth so that she could taste him. The second she felt him, fireworks went off in her belly and she forgot about everything else. The rest of the universe winked away and she was falling, falling, falling into him. One second it was as if he was trying to consume her and the next second it was as if he was trying to worship her. She felt a flash of teeth that didn’t belong to her against her bottom lip and nearly keened. _No, not like this!_ She thought desperately and, summoning a truly superheroic amount of willpower, shoved against his shoulders, sending him sprawling across the floor. She stood up and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “I didn’t come here for that.” She said softly, her voice breaking only a tiny bit. “You…you don’t even know my name.”

Even though she couldn’t see his face, she could tell he was hurt and confused by her rejection. Trying to save them both further pain and embarrassment, she went and knocked on the bathroom door. “Adrien, I have to leave now.” She called loudly, even though she knew there was no one on the other side. Without waiting for a reply (which she knew would never come) she headed for the window, pausing at the threshold so that she could half-turn and mutter: “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

And then she was gone, swallowed by the nighttime.

Adrien stared at his claws as if he’d never seen them before.

What would happen, he briefly wondered, if he tried to use Cataclysm on himself? Would the magic even work?

He opened his mouth to speak, then had to clear his throat and try again. “Claws in.”

Plagg was merciful, for once, and didn’t say a single word to Adrien before zipping away to one of his many hiding spots. No sarcastic quips, no misguided cheese-related attempts to comfort him. Just privacy, which was exactly what he needed.

Adrien hung his head.

He couldn’t explain what had happened. He knew, he _knew_ , that Ladybug didn’t love him and yet he had momentarily forgotten that fact and for a second believed that…maybe…

He shook himself. It didn’t matter. He had crossed a line he had no right to cross.

 _The least you could have done was **ask** first. _A voice at the back of his head chided him. Normally, given everything he’d been through, Adrien treated all voices in his head with the utmost suspicion, but this one was recognizable as his own.

He could still feel the warm satin of her lips against his. Should he try to forget? If he forgot the wonderful softness, would he also forget the sting of her rejection?

What on earth had come over him? When he transformed into Chat, his only motivation had been to comfort her—reassure her that he was in good health and that her concerns were misplaced. But then, when she told him how scared she’d been, he’d felt so happy. When he saw her cry from relief on his behalf, he’d flattered himself that maybe she cared about him as much as he cared about her. _Yeah, cuz if there’s one thing girls like, it’s guys who get stomach butterflies at the sight of human tears. What the hell is wrong with me?_ And she’d looked up at him, with tears in her big blue eyes, and when those tears fell down her leather mask they reflected the light so it looked like she was crying moonshine. _Again with the tears. What the **hell** is wrong with me?_ He hadn’t planned it, his body just moved without him telling it to. For a moment, after his lips landed on hers, it had seemed like she welcomed his touch. Her mouth had parted in surprise and she had leaned into him, her fingers tracing lazily across the back of his neck and sending electric sparks shooting down his spine. _It doesn’t matter—she trusted me and I took advantage of her vulnerability. What the hell is **wrong** with me? _

He’d made a fool of himself in front of her, as both Adrien Agreste _and_ Chat Noir. He didn’t get much sleep that night, either.

 

***

 

Tikki flitted anxiously from one end of the room to the other. “I don’t think your plan is working, Marinette.”

Marinette just groaned into her pillow.

It was the morning after Adrien had kissed her, and her mouth still felt all tingly, her lips slightly swollen. She was certain anyone who saw her face would immediately be able to tell what had happened, but Tikki swore it wasn’t noticeable. Her parents hadn’t mentioned anything at breakfast, a small mercy.

_Adrien kissed me and I didn’t kiss him back! What if I never get another chance? What is **wrong** with me?!_

“What if I just told him?” She wondered out loud for the 2,342nd time since she’d learned Chat’s true identity.

“If that’s what you really want to do, but you will have to accept the risks.” Tikki sighed. “We’ve talked about this before. The more people who know your true identity, the greater the danger to you and everyone around you. But it’s your decision, Marinette.”

She knew it was her decision. She just wished it wasn’t. She couldn’t stand the thought of putting anyone she cared about in even greater danger. But she also couldn’t stand the thought that Adrien would never know what she knew. She felt like a coward, but every time she opened her mouth and tried to tell him the truth, all she could think about was all the terrible things that could happen as a result. She couldn’t do it. So she just kept playing hide and seek, silently pleading with him to pick up on all the hints she was dropping.

_Adrien kissed me! And not a little peck like I gave him, no. A real deal eat-your-heart-out kinda kiss and **oh my god** how’d he make everything else just disappear like that? Is it the tongue? Do tongues have special perception altering powers that no one told me about?_

Marinette needed to stop thinking about this, about the kiss, about him, at least for a little while. It was all too much. She couldn’t think about anything else. Hadn’t been able to for days now and she was pretty sure her mom was starting to notice she was acting funny. Tikki hadn’t said that Marinette knowing Chat Noir’s secret identity had already started causing problems, but she didn’t have to. Marinette was excruciatingly aware of how weird and tense things had gotten between her and Adrien over the last few days. What if it interfered with their work? She dreaded their next akuma battle.

_Argh! If only he’d fixated on the **attainable** me instead of the **unattainable** me, none of this would be happening and everything would be fine!_

But that wasn’t at all fair, and she knew it. Of _course_ he’d fallen for the superhero version of her because, well, who _wouldn’t_ fall in love with a superhero if given the option? Except for her, obviously, she’d fallen for the civilian version. What could she say? He was cuter without the mask.

_But he’s happier with it…_

Marinette sat up a little, thinking hard. She’d often argued, to Alya, Tikki and herself, that Adrien and Chat Noir were complete and total opposites. Recent revelations had forced her to revise that belief. The longer she reflected on the matter, the more obvious it became that the golden boy and the black cat were one and the same. Like how he ran his hand through his hair whenever he was pleased with himself. Or how he was always eager to assist others because he genuinely enjoyed being helpful. There wasn’t much of a difference between Adrien and Chat, except that Chat laughed more. He was bolder. Freer. Not constantly looking over his shoulder, hiding from his bodyguard or confined to his father’s house. Maybe the reason Adrien chose Ladybug had as much to do with him as it did with her?

Speaking of Adrien... _oh my god he kissed me…_

Marinette was starting to get a headache when her phone went off.

It was Alya. With a brief flash of guilt for not having called Alya back last night, Marinette answered the phone.

“Hi, Alya. What’s up?”

_“Girl! Don’t tell me you’ve **already** forgotten? We’re supposed to be meeting Nino and Adrien in the park today!” _

Marinette yelped and leapt out of her bed. She dashed to her closet and began rummaging through the hangers, trying to find something to wear. In all the chaos after learning Chat’s true identity, she’d totally forgotten about meeting up with her friends today and going back to school tomorrow. “I’m sorry, Alya, I’ll be right—” She stopped mid-sentence and bit her lower lip, worrying at it with her teeth.

If she went now, as Marinette, Adrien would be able to act like nothing was wrong and everything would go back to normal. That was the opposite of what she wanted.

 _He’s smart—he’ll figure it out soon if I keep doing this._ She told herself.

“Alya, I’m so so so sorry, but something came up. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

_“Huh? What’s so important that you’d miss a chance to hang out with Adri—”_

Marinette ended the call before Alya could finish her sentence.

“This is a bad idea, Marinette.” Marinette could hear the nervousness in Tikki’s voice.

“Maybe.” Marinette admitted. “But if it works, it’ll be worth it.”

Showing up as Ladybug was especially risky with Alya there, but maybe seeing the superhero in a casual social setting was exactly the nudge Adrien needed.

“I hope.” She added, sounding just as nervous as the little red kwami on her shoulder.

 

***

 

“I think it’s gonna rain.”

“What? No way. Mireille said blue skies and smooth sailing all day.”

“Who are you going to believe, a weather girl on a kids show or your own lying eyes? Just look at those clouds.”

“Whoa, Alya.” Nino put his hands in the air as a sign of surrender. “Are you okay?”

Alya huffed and crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair as she glared accusingly at her half-eaten frozen yoghurt. “Sorry. I’m just frustrated. I think Marinette is avoiding me.”

Alya, Nino and Adrien sat together at a small white table in the park, the humid air hanging heavy on their shoulders. A huddle of food carts stood nearby, offering crepes, frozen yoghurt and falafel. The park was small, a manicured strip of green sandwiched between a busy street and a tree-lined canal. The canal was deep, but the waters were high and even over the sounds of traffic they could hear the currents rushing. Usually this part of the park was packed, but dark clouds were gathering above and the wind was starting to pick up. Other park-goers were filtering out, but the three of them remained where they were. Soon it was just them and a kid’s birthday party on the other side of the lawn. A bedraggled-looking magician wearing a shiny top hat tried to keep the cluster of antsy 6 year olds entertained while their parents rushed to clean up before the storm clouds burst.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Adrien said. “She said something came up. Maybe it’s a family thing.” He was disappointed that she wasn’t coming, but he tried not to show it. He certainly wasn’t going to admit that if he’d known Marinette wouldn’t be joining them, he would have found an excuse to stay home and sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this tired.

“I hope not. Marinette’s parents are cool.” Nino frowned with concern.

Alya shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I was just texting with her mom and she says they’re fine and that she isn’t sure where Marinette is.”

Adrien raised an eyebrow. “You talk to her mom?”

“Only when my girl hasn’t messaged me back in three days. And when I need baking tips.” Alya winked at him. “Parents love me. You should try introducing me to your dad some time, maybe I could convince him to ease up on you a little bit.”

Adrien forced himself to laugh even though imagining his father’s response to such a conversation was anything but funny. “That’ll be the day.”

“Yeah, not a good idea, babe.” Nino shook his head. “It didn’t go so well when I tried it. Adrien’s dad is mega-scary.”

“What can I say? I have a gift.” Alya teased. Then she leveled Adrien with an inquiring eyeball. “You’re _sure_ you haven’t seen Marinette lately?”

Adrien hated lying to his friends, but he didn’t have much of a choice. “I’m sure. Not since break started.”

“Oh well. I guess there’s always tomorrow.” She tilted her head back and squinted at the sky. “I really _do_ think it’s going to rain. We should probably clean up.” She began to collect their used paper plates and napkins.

“I’ll help.” Nino said, picking up Adrien’s plate before Adrien could grab the last bite. Adrien didn’t really notice and as his friends made their way to the recycling receptacles, he allowed his eyes to drift shut.

 _I hope Ladybug isn’t too mad at me._ He thought wistfully.

“Mind if I join you?”

His eyes snapped open and he found himself staring directly at Ladybug’s chin. Her hands were placed on the back of his chair and she was leaning over him. His mouth hung wide open like a startled goldfish. Ladybug smothered a giggle and slid into the seat that Alya had just vacated. “I won’t stay long. I just wanted to check in. I didn’t really get a chance to say a proper goodbye last night.”

Adrien’s mind raced to sort out the Chat timeline from last night and the Adrien timeline from last night. It was getting harder and harder to keep the two halves of his life separate, even in his own thoughts. It was as if the line that had always been bright and clear was now blurred, but he had no idea what was causing it. _Think, think, what was the last thing I did as Adrien?_

Oh…right.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He knew he was blushing and he really hoped she thought it was because of the bathroom stuff. _Of course she does, she has no idea I’m Chat._

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Are you feeling okay?”

He opened his mouth to tell her that yes, he was, and thanks for asking, but then he paused. Her question struck a chord at the back of his mind, a whisper he couldn’t quite make out. His brow furrowed slightly. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

A low rumble of thunder echoed from a distance and Ladybug looked up at the sky while he waited for her to answer. The storm was moving in fast now and the park was quiet. The only sounds were the wind and the kids at the birthday party jeering at the flustered magician. Even the traffic had slowed from the constant thicket of a busy city street to a few solitary cars moseying along. He noticed her peeking at him from the corner of her mask and his pulse quickened. She slowly slid her red-gloved-arm across the table and brushed her fingertips across the back of his hand, grazing the corner of his Miraculous as she did so. His eyes widened, his breath hitched, sparks shot up his arm and his mouth went dry. _She doesn’t know, she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know, she can’t possibly know, she wouldn’t even be here if she knew._ He told himself.

“You look tired.” She murmured, genuine concern ringing clear and true in her melodic voice.

Hearing it just made him feel guiltier.

He knew he had taken advantage of a moment of weakness and that she had every right to be mad at him. Ladybug hardly ever showed him anything other than her cool and confident side. That was part of how she maintained the distance between the girl and the superhero. He could understand, since he did the same thing. It must have taken a lot of courage for her to cry in front of him, and he’d pushed for more than she wanted to share. It had been selfish, and even if she wasn’t mad at him anymore, he was furious with himself enough for the both of them.

But this? Sitting here, with her, like this, like nothing had happened? This was worse. She was offering him heartfelt sympathy and friendship and all he could think about was the little gasp she made when he pulled her face towards his and how her hair had smelled faintly of vanilla. And the worst part was, _he_ knew and _she_ didn’t. He used to think that having secret identities was fun. Right now he just felt like a creep.

Adrien was saved from having to think of a response by the return of Alya and Nino.

“OH MY GAAAAAAWD—” _whump_ “—LAAADYBUUUUUUUUG!” Alya had thrown herself at Ladybug, knocking the superhero out of the chair and onto the ground in a tangled heap of limbs.

“Hi, Alya.” Ladybug winced as she picked herself up and dusted herself off. Alya swung an arm around her neck and whipped out her phone.

“Got time for a quick interview, Ladybug? Oh, shoot.” Alya grimaced. “I’m almost out of battery. Wait here—Nino, where’s my bag?”

Nino pulled her bag out from under the table and handed it to her. Alya threw it open and began rummaging through the contents. “A good journalist is always prepared. Ah-ha!” She held a small notepad aloft in the air. A pen was attached to the spiral binding by a string.

“Didn’t I fill out a questionnaire for you just last week?” Ladybug asked weakly. Adrien couldn’t help but be amused. Even Ladybug was no match for Alya when she was on a mission. He settled back into his chair to watch the show, half-grateful that they’d been interrupted and half-wishing Alya and Nino hadn’t come back at all. _If only Marinette was here, at least then there’d be someone I could talk to without having to lie._

Marinette always seemed to know what he was thinking, even without him saying anything. She was also the only one of his friends who wasn’t constantly speculating about the secret identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir. He had once asked her for her two cents, just out of curiosity, and she’d told him that she thought the superhero personas _were_ the secret identities. That had made him laugh.

Again he felt a tickle in the back of his mind, a fleeting possibility that vanished when he tried to bring it into focus, like something from a dream.

“Yeah, but you didn’t answer the last question!” Alya flipped open her notepad to a blank page.

“Uh…what was the last question, again?” Ladybug asked. She was wary but Adrien could tell from the relaxed way she was standing that she was secretly enjoying herself.

“In your own words, how does being a superhero effect your love life?” Alya wiggled her eye brows suggestively.

Adrien almost swallowed his tongue. He tried to disguise his shocked reaction as a cough.

“You okay, dude?” Nino asked.

Adrien nodded and waved him off. “Just tired. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

Nino frowned, thinking that this explanation didn’t actually explain a whole lot, but he didn’t argue.  

Ladybug and Alya were facing away from them. She wouldn’t notice him staring at her as he leaned forward, eager to hear her answer, dreading it at the same time. _What is wrong with me?_ He wondered mournfully.

“I don’t think your readers are interested in my love life.” Ladybug’s voice sounded a little higher than usual and she was starting to back away. It didn’t seem like Alya was going to get an answer to her last question after all. Adrien breathed a sigh of relief and felt a pang of regret at the same time.

“What?! Of _course_ they are!” Alya laughed as if that was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. It wasn’t, but it was pretty high on the list. “Isn’t there anyone special? A boy from your civilian life, or a certain kitty-cat, perhaps? There have been a lot of rumors flying around about you two, you know.”

Adrien changed his mind. He didn’t want to hear Ladybug’s answer; he didn’t want anybody else to hear her answer, either. “Back off, Alya. She said she didn’t want to talk about it so—”

“It’s alright.” Ladybug interrupted him firmly. Adrien’s heart sank into his stomach. Was she about to call Chat Noir out for being a shameless tomcat on the Ladyblog? He’d never be able to show his masked face in Paris again. Or worse, was she about to wax poetic about that other boy she was in love with, whoever he was? What if that other boy also read the Ladyblog, saw her answer, figured out she was talking about him and then they got married and lived happily ever after somewhere far away, leaving him to protect Paris on his own? Except he wouldn’t be able to because he couldn’t do anything about the akumas without Ladybug. This was a nightmare.

But Ladybug didn’t do either of those things. When she spoke, he could scarcely believe what he was hearing.

“To answer your question, Alya, my relationship with Chat Noir is really complicated. Despite the rumors you mentioned, we’re not dating. But I can _earnestly_ say that he is one of the most important people in my life. I guess sometimes you just have to start at the beginning. For now, he’s my partner and my friend.”

Ladybug was still facing away from him so he couldn’t see her face, which sucked. But on the bright side, it also meant she couldn’t see _his_ face or the huge sappy grin he was currently sporting. Whatever Ladybug meant by what she said, and he suspected he would spend many future sleepless nights trying to puzzle it out, it didn’t sound like she was mad at him for kissing her. In fact, it was a better reason to hope than any she’d ever given him before. He didn’t know if anyone else would realize it, but Ladybug was speaking directly to Chat Noir through Alya’s blog. She was trying to tell him that they were going to be okay and that everything could go back to normal. He was so elated, he completely missed the subtle emphasis she’d placed on the word ‘earnestly.’

“That’s all I’m going to say on the matter. I hope your readers will find it interesting.” Ladybug crossed her arms to signal that the interview was now over.

“Oh, _definitely.”_ Alya was scribbling so fast she tore through the page and had to start over on the next one. “Thanks so much, Ladybug! You’re the best!”

“I’m just happy to help.” Ladybug glanced his way and he tried to swallow his grin before she saw. He was pretty sure, from the way she ducked her head and covered her mouth with her hand, that he wasn’t quite fast enough. Ah, well. It’s not like she knew what he was specifically grinning about.

Adrien felt one, then two, fat plops of water land on his arm, and within seconds they were engulfed in a torrential downpour. Alya and Nino yelped and ran for cover, Alya cradling her phone and her notepad to her chest protectively. They headed for the brightly-lit café across the street. Adrien moved to follow them but Ladybug stopped him with a light touch on his forearm. His heart pounded.

“I’m not mad, just so you know.” She spoke so softly he almost missed her words. “If that’s why you didn’t sleep last night. I’m not mad.”

_She doesn’t know…does she know?_

No, of course not. He was indulging in wishful thinking again. From her perspective, she and Adrien had been in the middle of a conversation, he’d briefly paused to use the facilities, and she had left without an explanation while he was occupied. It was easy to see why she might think he was losing sleep over having potentially offended her, even though he was actually losing sleep because he desperately wanted to kiss her again and he hated himself for it.

Lightning struck on the far side of the canal and a crackling boom split the air. Panicked screams followed and they both whipped around. The screams were coming from the kids’ birthday party on the other end of the park. Something terrible had happened, though they couldn’t tell what. The parents were running around in circles, waving their arms in the air and screeching for help. The children were all clustered together, wailing from fear, as they were surrounded by a horde of evil-looking fanged rabbits. The rabbits were all wearing spangled vests and top hats.

“The magician!” Ladybug gasped. “He’s been akumatized!”

“Where?” Adrien cast around, searching for the magician. Ladybug pointed. Adrien couldn’t believe he’d missed him.

The magician’s transformation had only just occurred. The newly-minted supervillain had grown twenty feet and was turning his now-glowing wand over in his hands, cackling sadistically over his drastically improved magical abilities. He reached up a finger the size of an oak tree and pushed his black silk top hat into a slightly jauntier position atop his mammoth head. The magician raised his wand to the sky and as lightning struck the glowing tip he roared:

“I AM ABRACADANGER! CITIZENS OF PARIS, BEHOLD MY DEADLY ILLUSIONS! SCREAM IN FEAR AT MY NOT-SO-SLIGHT OF HAND! TREMBLE AND DESPAIR BEFORE MY SPECTACULARITY!”

“I guess the show is over.” Ladybug quipped as she pulled her yo-yo off her hip.

“I’ll go…uh…find a safe place to hide.” Adrien just barely managed to avoid saying he’d go transform and be right back to help her.

Ladybug nodded and squared her shoulders before racing off to battle Abracadanger. He couldn’t be sure, because thunder boomed at the exact wrong moment, but he thought she told him to hurry.

 

***

 

It was as if the sky had given up. As if it couldn’t hold itself up anymore and was falling to earth in a crescendo of rain. The downpour kept going and going, lashing against her face and blurring her vision. Half an inch of running water covered the pavement, making every step treacherous and slippery. Marinette ducked and dodged as Abracadanger howled with malevolent glee and pelted her with exploding cards from his gigantic deck. She still wasn’t sure where the akuma was. She hadn’t been able to get close enough to find out. She needed help.

“Where _is_ he?” She wondered.

“Ladybug!” Abracadanger’s voice was ear-splittingly loud, even when he wasn’t shouting. “Is _this_ your card?” He flicked his massive wrist, but this time when he threw the card on the top of his deck, three more cards came flying out of his sleeve. Marinette gasped as she saw the five-foot-tall three-foot-wide razor-sharp paper-thin explosives coming her way. There were too many of them, they were coming too fast. She wouldn’t be able to get out of the way in time. She clenched her eyes shut and braced herself for the impact.

But before she could die in a massive fireball, two strong arms circled around her waist and lifted her high into the air. When she opened her eyes, she was being cradled by a grinning Chat Noir, perched on the top of his staff.

“Looking for me, milady?”

She flicked his nose. “What took you so long?”

“I had to take care of some evil bunnies and some even more evil kiddies. It was definitely the birthday girl who drove the magician to Hawk Moth. Ungrateful brat actually bit me when I rescued her. But I’m here now. Where’s the akuma?”

“I’m not sure. His wand, maybe?”

“Sounds about right.” Chat glared at the akumatized magician. “Ready?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. “Always.”

They fell together, landing lightly amongst the shattered remains of the birthday party. Between the thundering of the quickly-flooding canal, the thundering of the sinister Abracadanger, and the thundering of the actual thunder in the weeping sky, it was hard to get a word in edgewise. In order to be heard, Chat had to lean in so close that his lips brushed against her earlobe as he spoke. She hoped he didn’t notice how she shivered, or if he did she hoped he assumed it was because she was cold and damp. “There’s been flash flooding in this area lately. We should finish with this guy as soon as possible and get away from the canal.”

Marinette nodded; she’d been worried about the same thing. The current, normally a slow trickle, was already lapping at the cement banks. If the rain didn’t stop soon, the park would certainly flood. “Then we should skip to the finale.” She said and threw her yo-yo in the air. “Lucky charm!”

_Plop_

“An umbrella? How is _this_ going to help?”

“Well, it is raining.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think we can purify akumas by keeping them dry.”

“Tell you what, milady. You figure out what the umbrella is for, and I’ll go get the akuma.” Chat winked at her and brandished his claws. “Cataclysm!” He cried and dashed towards Abracadanger, who roared with malicious laughter.

Marinette frowned and glanced around. Her eyes fell on the magician’s abandoned luggage. Most of it was well-worn and threadbare, except for a large brightly colored hat box that had probably been in perfect condition before it started to rain. Now it was starting to melt but, as she examined it, Marinette realized it was the only thing among the magician’s possessions that looked new. Her eyes widened.

Of course! Akumas usually chose to possess an object that their target was connected with, something the person cared about. The magician didn’t care about his wand. It was just a cheap plastic toy. He probably bought them in bulk. The akuma wasn’t in his wand; it was in his top hat!

“Chat Noir!” She bellowed. “Wait!”

As soon as he heard her call, he came to a screeching halt. Abracadanger cackled and released a spray of firecracker sparks from the tip of his wand. Adrien yelped and danced across the perilous pavement to avoid them. He kept one eye on the canal the whole time. There was a metal barrier up to keep people from falling in but he wasn’t putting his faith in such a flimsy obstacle. As he spun around, he saw Ladybug sailing through the air high above his head, holding the umbrella up and ready like a jousting lance.

“Be careful!” He called but his words were lost in the storm.

He watched her land on the top of Abracadanger’s head, spear his top hat with the umbrella and then somersault away, all in the blink of an eye. He watched as she twisted in midair and he saw her click the umbrella open. The top hat exploded as the umbrella ripped it apart from the inside. He stared as she landed gracefully, her feet angled like a ballerina performing a plie. He ogled as she snatched the akuma with her yo-yo and he gawked as she freed the purified butterfly. He gazed in wonderment as she released her swarm and perched on the canal barrier to catch her breath while police cars with blaring sirens finally began to arrive.

“You’re amazing.” He whispered.

Even without the storm raging above and the canal racing below, even without the sirens and the mix of grateful cries and confused interrogations coming from the growing crowd of police officers and birthday party survivors, they were too far apart for her to hear him. They were separated by 10 yards, at least. But even though she could not have possibly heard him, she turned as if she did and smiled at him.

It was _that_ smile, the special just-for-him smile that had so annoyed him when she gave it to Adrien last night. The glowing, dazzling, brighter-than-the-sun smile that made him feel like he was walking on air. The we-did-it-partner smile. The I-really-do-love-you smile. The smile took his breath away and he wasn’t thinking when he smiled back and casually leaned on the barrier, his hand wrapping around the silver metal pole. He was so tired, and things had been so weird between them lately, it was a huge relief to just feel normal for a moment. Then he saw her smile vanish and he looked down at his hand.

He had forgotten about the Cataclysm.

It happened so fast, there was nothing anyone could do. One second Ladybug was perched on the barrier above the canal, the next second the entire barrier—recently installed and stretching a full five city blocks—had crumbled into rust and Ladybug was falling, falling, falling down into the canal. The current was too fast, it pulled her under immediately and she was gone before she even had a chance to scream.

He tried to jump in after her, he really did. His feet had already left the ground when someone grabbed his tail and yanked him back. He hit the rain-soaked pavement hard, the wind knocked out of him. He tried to fight back, to stand up and throw himself into the turbulent waters, but his attacker pinned him down by placing the foot of a wooden cane against Adrien’s adam’s apple. Adrien stared up into the gut-wrenchingly pitying eyes of Master Fu.

“Let me go.” He hissed.

Master Fu shook his head. “You used your Miraculous gifts. If you go after her, you will transform back to your normal self in the water and you _will_ drown.”

“So will she.” Adrien’s voice crackled with desperation and rage.

“The current is moving too fast and the waters are dark and filthy. Filled with garbage and carrion. She is already out of your reach and even if she wasn’t, you wouldn’t be able to find her in the murk.” Master Fu’s voice was compassionate but firm. Adrien felt like he was being pushed off the edge of a cliff so high up he couldn’t see the bottom. “You must have faith in your partner, little cat.”

But Adrien wasn’t listening to him anymore. Adrien couldn’t hear _anything_ anymore except for the white noise roaring in his ears. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t feel, couldn’t think. All he could see was her vanishing smile, her red hand reaching out as the churning rapids swallowed her whole. He was falling, falling, falling into darkness…

Ladybug was gone.

Something deep inside of him resisted, lashing out and rising up against the crushing loss. He pushed the cane away and rolled over on all fours, emptying the contents of his stomach on the sodden ground. His narrow frame shook violently. His ring flashed a warning that he was about to change back. He didn’t care.

“What’s going on over there?” The police had finally noticed them.

“We must leave.” Master Fu said but Adrien didn’t respond. The old man grabbed the teenaged superhero under his arms and heaved him over his ancient shoulders like a sack of flour, a startling display of strength for someone of his venerable age. Adrien barely noticed. He wasn’t curious about where Master Fu had come from, didn’t wonder if Alya and Nino were safe. He didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now that Ladybug was gone.

Ladybug was gone, and it was all his fault.

_I killed Ladybug._

 

***

 

Here is something you may not know about ladybugs: they float.

Like witches and ducks, they float. When Marinette first hit the water she was overwhelmed, lost in the gloom, unable to tell which way was up and which way was down. In her panic, she inhaled and her lungs burned. But the next second she bobbed upwards and once her head was out of the water it stayed that way. Her face whipped back and forth as she tried to get her bearings, but in the dark and the storm it was impossible to make out her surroundings. A bloated rat carcass bumped into her and she yelped, getting some more brown liquid in her mouth. After that, she tried hard not to notice any of the _things_ that were floating in the putrid water with her. The canal was whisking her further and further away from the park, away from Adrien. Marinette knew that her Ladybug powers were the only thing keeping her from being pulled under and she also knew that she was going to change back at any second. She didn’t have a lot of time.

_Beep_

Scratch that. She didn’t have _any_ time.

She could just barely make out a low-hanging branch stretched out across the canal from one of the trees lining the banks. She was hurtling towards it at a breakneck speed. Using the very last of her strength, Marinette wrenched her left arm out of the water and managed to latch on to the gnarled wood. The current was strong, but the Ladybug suit was stronger. The red leather clung to the wood as if it were fused there and Marinette sighed in relief. She was going to be okay.

Then she felt the transformation begin and she started to panic again.  Her grip began to weaken. Her fingers began to slip.

“Hold on, Marinette!”

She felt something against the back of her neck and saw a flash of red out the corner of her eye. “Tikki?” She tried to ask, but she got a mouthful of foul canal water and sputtered wordlessly instead.

“Swarm sisters, give me strength!” Tikki’s squeaky voice swelled with ferocious determination.

Marinette didn’t think it was going to work, but to her very great surprise she felt herself being slowly lifted out of the water. Tikki managed to carry her all the way to the top of the bank, where they both collapsed in exhaustion.

Marinette allowed her head to fall to the side so that she could smile at her kwami. “Thanks, Tikki.” She said weakly.

“Don’t mention it.” The kwami looked and sounded completely spent. Her tiny lungs pumped up and down and her eyes were already drifting shut. “That’s what friends are for.”

Marinette lay there for a few minutes, trying to get her breathing under control, as Tikki drifted off to sleep. Marinette lifted her head and looked down at her body, checking for injuries. She was soaked to the bone, her hair was a mess, her outfit was stained brown from the waist down and she was sure she smelled like a sewer, but other than that she was fine. “Lucky Ladybug.” She whispered to herself as she sat up, ready to head home. First, she needed a shower. Second, she’d try to find Adrien and make sure he was safe. She could still see the look of dawning realization followed by absolute horror on his face right before she fell. Something about that memory filled her with unease. She needed to find him as soon as possible.

Her hand went to her hip, reaching for her purse. It came up empty. Marinette groaned and slapped her hand to her forehead. She’d transformed in her bedroom. Her purse was still lying on her desk back at home. Inside it were the snacks for Tikki. Her phone. Her wallet. Her metro pass.

She was going to have to walk.

_Okay, new plan. After I make sure Adrien is safe, I’m going to **kill** him._

***

 

Adrien was safe, but he was not okay.

He was in shock. At least, that’s what Master Fu said. Over and over again. He said a lot of other stuff too, about destiny and fate and something else that rhymed with boating, but Adrien hadn’t listened to any of it. Other than brief flashes, he didn’t remember leaving the park or the cab ride home or what Master Fu said to Nathalie when he dropped him off at the front gate. He didn’t remember changing back but he did remember when Plagg curled up in his shirt pocket. At some point it occurred to Adrien, in a distant dreamy sort of way, that Plagg was being uncharacteristically quiet. He didn’t care.

As far as Adrien was concerned, Plagg was just as guilty as he was.

Master Fu tried to say goodbye to him, but Adrien walked away without saying a word. The old man was to blame, too. Not just for stopping him from jumping in after her, but also for making them superheroes in the first place. They were teenagers. He was a grown-up. Where the hell did he get off, putting them in this much danger and then interfering whenever it was convenient for him?

_Her blue eyes widening slightly with alarm, her smile wiped away and replaced with a terrified gasp…_

Adrien didn’t remember walking inside the house, but he suddenly realized that his feet were carrying him up the stairs to his room. Good. At least there he could be alone.

Nathalie and the Gorilla were chasing after him. Nathalie was shouting something about his father and responsibility. He grimaced. Couldn’t they see he was in no mood to deal with their problems?

_Her voice when she said his name, her amused huff when he said something that surprised her, the sweet coppery taste of her mouth, her eyes filled with fear and recrimination as her back hit the surface of the water…_

“Shut up.”

Nathalie’s harried scolding came to an immediate halt. “Wha…what did you say?”

Adrien spun around, his hands clenched into fists and his mouth pulled down in a feral snarl. Most of Adrien was numb, or consumed with self-loathing, but there was still this tiny part way down at the bottom of his soul that was fighting back and it was that part of him that glowered down at the adults who were pestering him with trivial nonsense. This was the part of Adrien that, until now, had only come out when he wore the mask. This was the part of Adrien that had fangs and claws. Nathalie took an unconscious step back.

“I SAID SHUT UP!” The roar that emerged from his lips was a tangled mess of rage and grief. It shook the rafters and the window panes. Nathalie quailed and the Gorilla flinched. Adrien hissed with satisfaction at their reactions. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think about me. I’m done with you, I’m done with work, I’m done with my father. I’m done with everything.”

Nathalie was clearly frightened of him, but she made an effort. “Adrien, we’re not angry, we just want to know what hap—”

“WHAT PART OF SHUT THE _FUCK_ UP DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!”

That seemed to do the trick. Adrien swung around and raced the rest of the way to his room, leaving stunned silence in his wake. Neither of them had ever heard him swear before. In fact, Adrien wasn’t sure if he had ever sworn in front of anyone besides Plagg before. Whatever. He also hadn’t killed anyone before he touched the metal railing and sent the love of his life plunging to a lonely, agonizing doom. It was a night for firsts.

It was also a night for lasts.

Last time he saw her, last time he talked to her, last time she talked to him. Last time they saved Paris together, last time they laughed together, last time they made silly puns together, last time they looked at each other and just _knew_ , without even having to say a single word.

The last chance to tell her he loved her. And he’d missed it.

He was running now, stumbling into his bedroom and slamming the door shut behind him as hard as he possibly could. He locked it and then, for good measure, dragged the chair from his desk and shoved it under the doorknob. He stood there, panting, his eyes wide and unfocused, his fists clenching and unclenching repeatedly.

Plagg floated out of Adrien’s pocket and hovered in the air, squinting at his chosen with trepidation. “Adrien?” His normally sarcastic voice was timid and uncertain.

“Leave me alone, Plagg.”

“I just think we should have all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Ladybugs are always tougher than they look, this one especially.”

Adrien didn’t reply. He turned and looked around his room. There was the spot on his bed where she sat last night. That patch of floor by the bookshelf was where he kissed her. That window was the one she fled from.

“Oh, I know! The Ladyblog!” Plagg was still talking. “Alya was there, wasn’t she? I bet she was filming the whole time! If anyone knows what’s really going on, it’ll be—eep!”

Adrien grabbed Plagg out of the air and strode towards the window, which had in his mind now been dubbed _her_ window. He slid it open and threw the tiny black cat out into the rain. Night had fallen but the storm still raged. Plagg spun around in the air and looked back at him beseechingly.

“Adrien…”

“It was always going to end like this, wasn’t it? With Chat Noir destroying everything and Ladybug gone forever. That’s what you are, right? Destruction? That’s what you do. What _we_ do.”

She was just _gone._ There wasn’t going to be a funeral or an opportunity to apologize to her family. No final last chance to learn something new about her. He didn’t even know her name…

“Adrien, please listen to me, there’s something you don’t know about M—”

“Leave me alone, Plagg. If you care about me at all, just leave me the hell alone.” Adrien shut the window firmly, blocking out the kwami and his protestations. They both knew Plagg could just phase through the glass, but they also both knew he wouldn’t. Not when Adrien was being this clear about his boundaries. The little black cat watched helplessly as his human friend collapsed in on himself. Unable to stand on his own two feet a moment longer, Adrien fell to the floor, fisted his hands in his hair and started to scream.

 

***

 

Marinette had been walking for about an hour and still had another hour to go when a bank of on-sale television sets in the window of a second-hand electronics store caught her attention. More specifically, what drew her notice was her own masked face winking at her.

 _What now?_ She wondered, moving closer so that she could hear what the newscaster was saying. There weren’t any speakers on the sidewalk, so she had to get right up against the glass to hear. She was careful not to disturb Tikki, who was sleeping in her pocket. Then she saw the flashing chyron underneath her picture and her jaw dropped.

“Dead?! I’m not _dead!”_ She hammered against the glass. “What do you think you’re doing? Knock it off!”

Unsurprisingly, the newscaster didn’t respond, but she did get a few odd looks from the handful of other people who happened to be walking down the street. Marinette bit her lip and forced herself to quiet down as she watched the broadcast. The longer she watched, the more irritated she became. “According to sources on Twitter—you’ve got to be kidding me…”

She wasn’t totally naïve. A bunch of police officers had watched her fall into a flooding canal. She’d expected some kind of fuss—search parties, appeals for calm, vigils, and then she would find some way to reveal herself to the people of Paris and everyone would be happy. She’d expected to be declared missing, yes, but _dead?_ They didn’t even bother trying to drain the canal before reading her obituary on the evening news! Amelia Earhart had been missing for two years before she was officially declared dead, and here Paris couldn’t even wait until morning before signing Ladybug’s death certificate. Ladybug had saved Paris way more times than Amelia Earhart. The newscast went live to the park where she and Adrien had battled Abracadanger, where a reporter was currently interviewing Sabrina’s father Roger. Officer Raincomprix held his hat in his hands and shook his head.

_“Yes, tragic, very tragic, we’re just lucky that we had enough officers here to get a statement from all the witnesses.”_

_“Most of the witnesses were other police officers, is that correct?”_

_“Yes, that’s right. It’s a good thing we were all here. Otherwise I don’t know how we would have gotten all the witness interviews done in time.”_

_“In time for what?”_

_“In time for the evening news.”_

“I take back all the times I said you were a good cop.” Marinette snarled. She was about ready to walk away in disgust when she heard a familiar voice coming from somewhere off camera.

_“Don’t just stand there! You! Call the Maritime Gendarmerie! You! Go get some of those stick things for search and rescues that I’ve seen in movies! What’s wrong with you people? Why aren’t you out there **looking** for her? Useless! HEY YOU! GIVE ME THAT CAMERA!”_

Marinette’s heart swelled when she caught a glimpse of Alya’s hair as her best friend struggled with the camera man. There was a very loud _“Ow!”_ and then her forehead and glasses came into view.

_“Ladybug! If you’re listening, I **know** you’re still alive and I will **not rest** until I find you!”_

_“Get away from here, kid, this is expensive equipment!”_

_“Don’t touch her!”_

_“Ow! The other one bit me!”_

‘The other one’ had to be Nino. Marinette laughed and shook her head with fond exasperation. Satisfied that her friends were doing just fine for now, she turned away from the screens. Then she heard Sabrina’s dad speak again.

_“Alya, I understand you’re upset, but Chat Noir seemed pretty certain she was dead and he would know, after all.”_

Marinette’s entire universe came to a grinding halt. She turned back to the screens, gaping up at Roger Raincomprix’s pasty sweating face, struggling to process the words that had emerged from it.

_“Oh please. I know **way** more about Ladybug than Chat Noir does.”_

_“He **is** her partner. You’re just a kid with a blog.” _ It was the reporter who said that. It was a fatal mistake, but judging from their bemused expression they hadn’t met Alya before now. They had to be new. Most of the reporters working the Ladybug and Chat Noir beat knew better than to antagonize the world-famous Ladyblogger, especially over her youth.

_“He might be her partner, but I’m the goddamn biographer. Which you’d know if you knew **anything** about Ladybug. Who even are you?”_

_“Okay, whoever this girl’s parents are, if you can come pick up your child soon we would all really appreciate it.”_

_“How **dare** you!”_

_“Alya, no!”_

_“Help! She’s pulling my hair!”_

Marinette wasn’t listening anymore. She couldn’t hear the tinny tv voices over the pounding in her ears.

Chat Noir thought Ladybug was dead?

Adrien thought she was dead?

“No…” Marinette stared in the distance and placed her hand over her heart. “No, no, no, no, _please_ no, please don’t let him think that…”

She could sense him. How had she not noticed it earlier? That swell of unease when she remembered his expression as she fell was just the tip of the iceberg. Now that she was paying attention, it was so obvious. She could sense him like how she could sometimes sense the presence of an akuma. He was hurting. No. He was _beyond_ hurting. He thought she was dead and he thought it was his fault.

Marinette started to run.

It took her a little over an hour to make it to Adrien’s house. She ran nearly the entire way, pausing every now and then to catch her breath. But she never stopped for long. Knowing that Adrien was needlessly suffering kept her going. She had to reach him. She had to talk to him. Never mind her plan, never mind all her hints and clues, none of that mattered anymore. As soon as she saw him, she’d come clean. She’d tell him that she was Ladybug and that it wasn’t his fault, it was an accident, and see, she’s fine now so it really wasn’t that big a deal to begin with. And if he didn’t believe her, then she’d find some food for Tikki and prove it to him.

 _Hold on, Adrien._ She tried to tell him telepathically, even though she didn’t think it was working. _I’m almost there!_

At least the rain had stopped falling. That made the journey a little easier.

And then she got to the gate, and remembered that while it was pretty easy for Ladybug to slip past all the security features, Marinette had never had as much success in that area.

This time, she stuck out her jaw stubbornly. Like some puny gate was going to stop her.

Ten minutes later, Nathalie came out to tell her to stop trying to hop the fence. “It’s electrified. Isn’t it painful?” She asked the teenager through the bars.

“Yeah.” Marinette answered through gritted teeth as she nursed a seared spot on her hand. “It would be a lot easier if you just let me in.”

“I can’t do that. It’s not allowed.”

“Please? I just need 15 minutes with Adrien, I swear.”

“Adrien isn’t taking visitors right now.”

“Because he’s upset, right? That’s why I’m here.” Marinette grabbed the bars with her bare hands, ignoring the sting. “Please, Nathalie. I can help. Just let me in.”

Nathalie hesitated. On the one hand, allowing visitors at this time of night was strictly forbidden. On the other hand, she’d never seen Adrien that angry or heartbroken before. She was worried about him. Some of the noises coming from his bedroom were downright disturbing. If his friend could help, it might be worth it to bend the rules, just this once…

“What are you doing, Nathalie?” A cold voice asked. Nathalie jerked her hand guiltily away from the gate-opening button she’d been about to press. Gabriel Agreste walked down the front steps that led to the house and came towards them with an expression of severe disapproval. He glared down at Marinette. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Actually, no.” Even Adrien’s father couldn’t intimidate her right now. As far as she was concerned, he was just another obstacle between her and where she needed to be. Just a different type of gate. “Adrien won’t mind.”

“It is 11:30 at night. And what Adrien hypothetically would or would not mind is inconsequential. _I_ am the master of this house. It is _my_ mind you should be concerning yourself with, little girl. Leave immediately and do not come back until I have had time to forget your shameful behavior.”

Marinette ground her teeth. As if he didn’t know her name. He controlled nearly every other aspect of Adrien’s existence, did he really expect her to believe he didn’t know the names of Adrien’s friends? He was only acting this way because he thought it would scare her. He thought he could bully her the same way he bullied everyone else.

The same way he bullied Adrien.

“You’re a bad parent.” The words hung in the air like a challenge, like crossed swords, like pistols at dawn. She knew before she said them that she was crossing a line, but why should Marinette care? As far as most of the world was concerned, she was already dead.

Nathalie went white as a sheet. Gabriel looked like he couldn’t quite believe that someone was actually speaking to him this way. She knew the shock would wear off soon and he would get angry, so she kept talking while she still had air in her lungs.

“You keep him locked up all the time. You don’t let him make his own choices. You don’t give him space to be himself. You didn’t let him have a real childhood and now you won’t let him grow up, either. You think we don’t know how cruel you are? You’re like a dragon who keeps princesses locked up in towers. Everyone thinks so.”

“I see. Everyone thinks this, you say?” Gabriel’s cold voice dripped with disdain. Nathalie went even paler and started backing away slowly. Marinette was still too angry to feel any real fear, but it was starting to dawn on her that she might have bitten off more than she could chew. She didn’t see him press the button, but he must have because suddenly the gate swung open and before she could burst past them he grabbed her and dragged her roughly towards him. Marinette yelped as he twisted her arm painfully above her head. “Stop flinching. Didn’t you want to get inside the gate? Look around. Take it in. This is the last time you will _ever_ be on this side of the gate. This is the last time you will _ever_ set foot on this or any other property I own. And rest assured that I will do everything in my power to make certain you _never_ see my son again. I’ll start by withdrawing him from school first thing in the morning.” He leaned in close, so close that Marinette could smell his aftershave. “A word of advice, little girl. If you are going up against a dragon, don’t ride into battle alone.”

He spun her around so that his arm was wrapped around her torso and opened the door to the tiny gatehouse with his free hand. He threw her in and she landed hard on the dusty floor. “Wait here until your parents can collect you. Try not to make too much noise.” He said.

“No!” Marinette leapt to her feet and charged at the door, but she wasn’t fast enough. He swung it shut and she heard a bolt lock slide into place on the outer side of the door. She threw herself at the heavy metal slab and pounded it with her fists. She raged and screamed and threatened and begged and bargained, but nothing worked. The door remained locked and unmovable. Eventually Marinette began to tire herself out. She sank down to the floor and hid her face in her knees.

“Marinette?” Tikki had finally woken up.

“You were right, Tikki. I never should have tried my plan. Any of my plans.” Marinette’s voice was broken and frustrated. “All I do is make everything worse. Now Adrien thinks Ladybug is dead and I’ll never be allowed to see him as Marinette ever again.”

 Tikki frowned. This had gone on long enough. It was time for her to take charge. “Wait here, Marinette.” She ordered and, without waiting for a reply, phased through the wall. The little kwami darted around the enormous mansion, cautiously peering in windows until finally she saw him.

“Plagg!” She cried when she spied his little black body lying down on the outer ledge of a windowsill many stories above the ground.

“Tikki!” He raced to meet her. “Are you and Ladybug okay?”

“Yes, but we don’t have time for any of that right now.” Tikki could see Marinette’s parents walking up to the gate and Nathalie walking down the front steps to meet them and, presumably, to explain why their daughter had been locked up in the gatehouse. “You need to get Adrien to read the note.”

Plagg scratched behind his ear with his foot. “The what?”

“The note! The note! The note Marinette gave him from Ladybug when he woke up in her bedroom!” Tikki waved her arms furiously. “Tell him to look at the note and to remember what Ladybug told Alya in the park!”

“He won’t even look at _me_. How am I supposed to get him to look at the note?”

Marinette’s parents were already marching towards the gatehouse, stormy expressions on their faces. Tikki was out of time. “Figure it out!” She cried before darting back to her chosen.

Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng didn’t utter a single word until they were out of sight of the Agreste mansion. Nathalie had felt guilty enough to tell them the truth about what happened, especially after they asked to view the security camera footage, but Marinette didn’t know that. She trailed behind her parents, peering over her shoulder, staring up at Adrien’s bedroom window and trying to force him to come look out through sheer willpower. It didn’t work and when they turned the corner her shoulders slumped with disappointment.

She supposed she would see him tomorrow at school, but what if his father followed through on his threat and forced Adrien to return to private tutoring? And even if he did show up, they could hardly have any kind of meaningful conversation with people like Chloe hanging around. She glanced up at her parents’ silent backs. They’d looked furious when they opened the gatehouse door. She didn’t blame them for being mad at her. They’d hardly seen her all week and now they had to come out in the middle of the night because she’d gotten in trouble for trespassing? _They must be so disappointed._ She thought glumly.

“Mom, Dad,” she started to say. “I’m really sorry—”

“Not one more word, Marinette!” Her father interjected. When he turned his head, she could see that his cheeks were red with emotion. Her heart sank. “I’ve half a mind to—”

“Tom!” Sabine scolded him softly. He huffed and stuck his hands in his pockets. Marinette gulped. She couldn’t remember ever seeing her parents this angry. The family continued walking quietly for a little while before Sabine spoke again. “Now, Marinette. You know your father and I don’t like to speak ill of your friends’ parents. Raising a child is hard enough without that kind of scrutiny.”

Marinette blinked. She had no idea where this was going.

Sabine took a deep breath and turned to face her daughter. “But if that awful man ever lays a hand on you again, you have my _explicit_ permission to kick him directly in the balls.”

Marinette knew her jaw was unhinged and swinging open like a barn door. She didn’t care. She’d _never_ heard her mother speak like that.

“He never shows up for school events either!” Tom burst out, apparently unable to contain himself. “Have you noticed that?”

Sabine nodded. “I have. And that nice Adrien boy always works so hard, and he always looks so disappointed.” She wrapped her arm around Marinette’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We won’t let him take Adrien out of school just to punish you.”

“We’ll talk to the other parents first thing in the morning. They’re all fed up with Gabriel, too. Even the Mayor! Don’t worry, Mari. We’ll come up with a plan.” Tom added.

Marinette had never loved her parents more than she did in that moment. She didn’t think it was humanly possible to love them more than this.

Sabine nudged Marinette. “Now, generally speaking it’s not a good idea to show up at someone’s home unannounced and late at night. And we can’t force him to let you visit Adrien.” Marinette hung her head a little. She had a very good reason for her behavior, she just couldn’t share it with them. “So I think the best solution is for you to invite Adrien to spend more time at our place.”

Tom nodded in agreement. “I’ll order a new house key made up for him. That way he’ll know he’s always welcome, no matter what time it is.”

Oh.

She’d been wrong earlier.

 _This_ was how much it was humanly possible to love her parents.

Sabine pressed a kiss to her daughter’s temple and whispered in her ear, “You really need a shower.”

 

***

 

Adrien didn’t feel like breathing but his body made him do it anyway.

He kept reliving it over and over. Ladybug smiling at him, Ladybug realizing what he’d done, Ladybug falling into the canal. Him standing there impotently and just watching it happen. Over and over and over again.

“Adrien?”

Plagg was back. He had been bound to return sooner or later, Adrien just wished it had been later.

“Adrien, where’s the note from Ladybug?”

 _Ladybug._ The name was a knife in his gut, a song he couldn’t stop singing.

“What?” Adrien croaked without opening his eyes. He was lying on his bed and he had no intention of getting up, possibly ever. Maybe he’d just fade away on this bed until his bleached bones crumbled into dust.

“When you woke up in Marinette’s room the other day, she gave you a note from Ladybug. Where is it?”

“I dunno. On my desk.”

Plagg flew away. Adrien heard rustling as the kwami searched the desk. Then he returned and Adrien felt a rustle of paper against his nose. He sneezed and opened his eyes.

“I told you to leave me alone.”

“Not until you look at the note.”

Adrien rolled his eyes and turned over so that he was facing the other direction. But Plagg just picked the note up off the covers and continued poking him in the face with it.

“Plagg, I swear to god…”

“Look. At. The. Note.” Each word was emphasized by another poke.

Adrien ripped the note away from the kwami and unfolded it. He stared at the handwriting without really reading it, trying not to cry at the sight of Ladybug’s pictogram signature in the bottom corner.

 

_Morning, kitty._

_After the akuma was defeated, you passed out so I brought you someplace safe. Rest up until you feel better. I had to go before I turned back into a pumpkin._

_Next time, it’s my turn to rescue you. Even if you think you feel okay, take it easy. Today was kinda scary._

_Thanks for trying to rescue me._

_Earnestly, Ladybug._

 

“Fine. I’m looking at the note. How is this supposed to help?”

“I’m not sure actually.” Plagg admitted. “You’re supposed to look at the note and remember what Ladybug told Alya at the park. Do you remember what Ladybug told Alya at the park?”

Of course he did. The words sprang easily to mind since he’d memorized them within five minutes of hearing her say them.

_To answer your question, Alya, my relationship with Chat Noir is really complicated. Despite the rumors you mentioned, we’re not dating. But I can earnestly say that—_

Wait…

Earnestly?

His eyes dipped to the bottom of the note. She’d signed it, ‘Earnestly Ladybug.’ Why earnestly? Why not sincerely, respectfully, yours truly or love? A no-nonsense plain and simple dash? It wasn’t wrong or suspicious to sign off earnestly, it was just a little…odd.

Now that he thought about it, the greeting was strange too. ‘Morning, kitty’ it read, but it hadn’t been morning when she wrote it nor when he received it. It was possible to argue that ‘morning’ was a sentiment used to greet anyone who had just woken up regardless of time of day, but it still felt a little stilted for a note.

The sentence order was wrong, as well. Like the note was made out of puzzle pieces that didn’t fit together quite right.

What else had Ladybug told Alya? _Sometimes you just have to start at the beginning…_

Plagg watched as a little bit of life slipped back into Adrien’s eyes. He didn’t know what secret message Marinette had hidden in the note but when Adrien leapt off the bed and ran to his desk to grab a pencil he knew the boy had finally found it. Honestly, the little black cat had been waiting for this moment ever since he discovered Ladybug’s secret identity. He just couldn’t believe it had taken them this long.

In the margin of the note, Adrien wrote down the first letter of each sentence. When he was done, he stared at his handiwork. Then he looked up at Plagg. He looked down at the note. He looked up at Plagg. The little kwami still didn’t know what the message was but his chosen’s expression was a conflicted mixture of horror and hope, which Plagg considered an improvement over vengeful wrath, mindless screaming or resentful catatonia.

“Plagg…” Adrien croaked.

“We can be there in 15 minutes, kiddo.” Plagg said. “Just say the magic words.”

“Claws—”

“Wait! Real quick…what does the note say?” Adrien showed him and Plagg chortled. “She’s clever, this Ladybug. The old man chose well this time.”

Ladybug had signed her name three times. Once by saying earnestly and once with a pictogram. The third signature was harder to spot, but now that he’d found it Adrien couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it immediately.

The first letter of every sentence in the note spelled M-A-R-I-N-E-T-T-E.

 

***

 

The first thing Marinette did when she got home was follow her mother’s advice and take a shower. It felt good to finally wash the residue from the canal off her skin. Then she went down to the bakery kitchen and found a large box of macrons for Tikki. Normally she only ever lifted one or two cookies for her friend—not a whole box—but Marinette believed quite firmly that Tikki had earned it today. If she thought she could get away with it without raising suspicion, she would have given her kwami a dozen boxes. She walked up to her room and placed the cookies on her desk next to a lightly dozing Tikki. Marinette went to her closet and pulled out a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black leggings. She held her towel up around her body as she got dressed, as if she thought someone else might be watching. She glanced at herself in the mirror and tried to look confident, as if her heart wasn’t pounding in her throat. Then she squared her shoulders and climbed through the skylight to wait.

She knew he’d come, even though it was well after midnight by now. She didn’t know how she knew, she just knew.

Except she was wrong. Adrien wasn’t coming. He was already there.

_Whump_

Marinette looked down at the cat ears nestled amongst his blonde mane, at the leather-clad arms wrapped so tightly around her waist she couldn’t move. He was on his knees before her, his face pressed into her stomach so she couldn’t see his expression, hanging onto her hips as if they were the only thing keeping him from sinking into the earth. Her hands came to rest on his shoulders as she waited for him to speak, uncertain as to what he needed from her. She could feel him shaking as he held onto her for dear life.

“Chat?” She murmured. He shuddered. “Adrien?” She tried. She felt him gulp and shake his head ever so slightly. He wasn’t ready yet. She fell silent and started combing her fingers through his hair, hoping the soothing touch would provide some comfort.

Finally, after several minutes that felt like several hours, she heard his broken whisper: “Milady…”

All the tension left her body immediately. If his grip on her waist hadn’t been so tight, she might have fallen down. She bent over as much as she could, which wasn’t very much, and awkwardly tried to place her arms around his shoulders so that she could hug him back.

“You figured out my note.” She whispered in reply. “Took you long enough.”

Adrien released a heart-wrenching noise that was halfway between a guffaw and a sob. She could feel the sound hit her skin, a hot wet burst that grated on her soul. Marinette’s throat tightened. She felt a damp spot start to form on her belly and she realized that he was crying silently, his scalding tears soaking through the fabric of her shirt. “Adrien, please look at me.” She begged. He shook his head and held on tighter.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…” He choked on his guilt, unable to continue.

Adrien was overwhelmed. He knew he didn’t deal with losing people very well. He had so few people in his life to begin with, and his father wasn’t exactly a great role model for handling grief. When he thought that Ladybug was… _gone_ , it destroyed him instantly. When he’d decoded the secret message and thought, for a brief period of time, that Ladybug _and_ Marinette were…

_She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive._

He didn’t know how to lose people. He had no idea where to begin when it came to getting them back.

He was going to have nightmares about this day for the rest of his life.

_She’s alive. She’s alive. Oh god she’s alive._

It had only taken him half the usual time to reach her rooftop balcony, he’d run so fast. Part of him had dared to hope—the same part that fought back so hard in the park that he threw up, the same part that had lashed out at Nathalie and the Gorilla. But the rest of him had been reeling at the possibility that his loss was doubled and then when he heard her enter her bedroom and realized that she was absolutely, unequivocally and most definitely still alive, he just…

Adrien fell apart. His sobs grew louder and his grip began to weaken. His hands dropped to the ground because he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. He felt her slide down to his level and he collapsed into her welcoming arms, wailing loud enough to wake the neighbors. He didn’t care. She was alive. He hadn’t lost her. Either version of her. She was still here. Nothing else mattered.

She held him tightly, rocking him back and forth like a mother cradling her child, planting sweet butterfly kisses between his cat ears as he wept. The whole time, she kept whispering:

“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re going to be okay.”

He let it all go, allowing all the pain and confusion of the last few hours, days, months, years to come pouring out as salty water. His loneliness, his fear, his bitterness towards his father, his despair over the loss of his mother, his longing for Ladybug, his desire for Marinette, he let all of it go. She didn’t try to shush him or tell him to wipe his nose and act his age. She just let him cry, and eventually he realized that some of the tears soaking her shirt were coming from her eyes as well as his. His heart stuttered and, finally, he was able to lift his face and meet her gaze.

She was giving him that smile. Her eyes were red and her nose was blotched and there was a watery quaver in her voice when she said: “Hi there, kitty.”

_She’s beautiful. She’s alive and she’s beautiful._

He remembered to ask first this time. “May I kiss you?”

In answer, she kissed him.

The kiss started slow, their lips barely touching as she pressed her forehead to his and they inhaled together. She gently brushed her lips against one corner of his mouth and then the other, before cradling his face in her hands and pulling him towards her. He followed eagerly, surging onto his knees so that instead of lying in her lap he was arched above her. She leaned back against the wall and kept pulling him closer and closer. The kiss gained urgency. She nipped at his bottom lip and he gasped, allowing her to slide into his mouth and wrap her tongue around his. He groaned and rocked into her. Her hands slipped from his face to his shoulders and now it was her turn to hold onto him for dear life. He drank her up, needing more and more, needing to feel, to know, to prove to himself that she was alive, alive, alive. His hand landed on her side and slipped under her shirt. His thumb began massaging small circles on the delicate skin at the hinge of her hip. She released a surprised grunt and pulled back slightly. He froze, worried he’d gone too far, and then she grabbed his shoulders and shoved him sideways so that he was the one with his back to the wall. In a flash she swung herself over his lap and grabbed his chin, lifting his flabbergasted greens to meet her smoldering blues. 

“Bad kitty.” She whispered. He shuddered again, but this time it was out of pleasure. She bent her head and the kiss resumed, slower and deeper this time. They weren’t in any rush.

The problem was, the longer they kissed the less grief-stricken and traumatized Adrien felt, and the less grief-stricken and traumatized Adrien felt the more questions began to pile up in the back of his mind. He tried to tell himself that the questions could wait until Marinette got tired of kissing him, but the little voice in the back of his head quipped: _Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back._

He had to know.

“H-How…” He stuttered as Marinette released his bottom lip from her mouth with a loud pop. “How did you…?” He faltered, suddenly realizing that there was precious little air left in his lungs.

“Find out?” She also sounded slightly winded. His eyes dipped down briefly to her heaving breasts as she struggled to get her breathing under control. He gulped and nodded, not trusting himself to speak in that moment. “You told me.”

His brow furrowed. He was pretty sure he would remember something as important as telling Ladybug his secret identity. “When did—”

“After we defeated Lie Detector.”

 _Of course._ “The truth serum.”

“You were totally out of it. I couldn’t leave you alone, but I was about to transform. I brought you here, thinking I could leave you in my room while I ran down to the bakery to get cookies for my kwami. But then I ran out of time and you saw me…” She blushed and looked away. Adrien frowned.

“What did I do?” He asked, worried it was something bad.

“First you laughed. Then you said something like, hey I’m Adrien and I love you and I know you love me and isn’t it funny that we can’t be together just because of the whole secret identity thing? And then you passed out.”

Adrien winced. “I didn’t really say that, did I?”

“I’m simplifying for clarity. What you actually said was a lot more convoluted than that.” She frowned at him. “I was really scared when you wouldn’t wake up, you know. I even called Master Fu, but he said he couldn’t talk to me about your private health matters. I was pretty upset about that. Tikki put him on speaker phone so he could say the magic spell to let your kwami out of your Miraculous. I don’t know how he did it. I have no idea _what_ language he was speaking, but it wasn’t French or Mandarin.”

Adrien was surprised. Having woken up in the suit, he had assumed he’d been Chat the whole time. “You met Plagg?”

Marinette nodded. “He was the one who told me you were going to be fine. I didn’t really believe him but I guess kwamis can tell that sort of thing about their chosen. It was Tikki’s idea to ask him. I think they were worried I wouldn’t calm down otherwise. There may have been threats and thrown objects.” She ducked her head bashfully and he grinned. He could just picture her, pacing the length of her bedroom making wrathful demands into her cellphone and chucking textbooks at the wall in her fury while he languished on the bed like a damsel in distress.

“Then Master Fu said the magic words again and Plagg went back in the ring. You woke up about two hours after that.” Suddenly her eyes lit up and she grinned. “I’ve got an idea. Wait here a sec.”

She stood up and started to move away from him but before she could take more than a step his hand snapped out and clasped around her wrist, holding her in place. Adrien struggled against the tide of anxiety rising up within him at the thought that she might leave. He still wasn’t convinced enough of her continued vitality to be comfortable letting her out of his sight. She was looking down at him curiously, waiting for him to say something.

 _Stop being ridiculous._ He ordered himself. _Let go of her. You’ll have to do it sooner or later. Just get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid._

He still didn’t let go.

Marinette gently but firmly pulled herself free. “Don’t be silly, Chat. I’m not leaving, I’m just going to the other side of the roof for a second. We’ve made such a mess of this whole thing, we should try and do it properly at least once.” Chastened, he rested his empty hands on his knees.

She padded over to the skylight and opened it, kneeling down and whispering something he couldn’t hear. Then there was a flash of light and Marinette was Ladybug. He gazed up in rapturous admiration as she returned to his side. She sat down cross-legged in front of him so their knees were brushing. She reached forward and slid her palms under his, interlocking her red fingers with his black claws. 

“Hello, Chat Noir.” She said, giving him that just-for-him smile.

He smiled back, unsure where this was going but along for the ride. “Hello, Ladybug.”

“Chat, may I show you something?”

“Anything, milady.”

“Spots off.” Another flash of light, and Marinette was back in her white t-shirt and black leggings, a tiny red kwami floating next to her ear and smiling joyously at him.

Adrien caught on quick. “Claws in.” His suit melted away and he was able to feel the skin of her palms pressed against his own. His smile grew in brilliance. “Hello, Marinette.”

“Hello, Adrien.”

This kiss was the sweetest of all their kisses so far. The most tender and the most loving.

 _This time,_ Marinette thought, _it counts._

Adrien pulled back too soon. He still had questions. “How did you get out of the canal?”

“Tikki saved me.”

“I’m so sorry.” His face soured with guilt and his eyes darkened. “It was my fault.”

“It was an accident.”

“It was still my fault.”

Marinette sighed. “I’m not mad. Okay, I _was_ mad.” she corrected when she saw the incredulous look he was giving her. “But it was an accident and I’m not mad anymore. It’s not like you’re going to do it again, right?”

He laughed but there wasn’t any humor in it. “Not likely.” He didn’t even want to think about using Cataclysm again. He knew he’d have to eventually, but probably not tonight. Coping could wait.  

Marinette frowned with concern. “You haven’t watched the news tonight, right?”

“No. I was…I wasn’t in the mood.”

“It’s probably for the best. I’ve been declared dead. There are already plans for a city-wide day of mourning.” Marinette sighed. “Another problem I’ll have to deal with first thing tomorrow.”

“That seems hasty.”

“I don’t know; I’d rather get it over with quickly. Maybe I’ll try to get to the Eiffel Tower just as the first tour busses arrive, that way there will be a lot of cameras and morning news crews looking for puff pieces. Alya’s been teaching me about media relations. I wish I could ask her about the best way to tell the world to stop planning my funeral, but she’d figure me out in a second. You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to, but it might help if Chat Noir shows up with Ladybug and acts normal.”

“I meant it seems hasty for the city to have declared you...” His throat closed up before he could say the d-word.    

“You might have had something to do with that. Apparently someone was filming your reaction and posted it on Twitter. I guess thing’s kind of snowballed from there.”

Adrien turned beet red. “I’m sorry.” Then he blinked. “Wait—what other problems do you have to deal with first thing tomorrow?”

Marinette went an even darker shade of red than he had and started stuttering for the first time that evening. “Uh, w-well, school obviously and, um, I k-kinda, maybe, might have, well, I definitely did it but—”

Adrien was starting to feel anxious again. “Milady?”

She jerked her eyes down to their entwined fingers. “I told your dad he was a bad parent.”

“You did what now?”

“To his face. Once I found out people thought I was dead, I knew you’d be upset, I just wanted to see you and let you know I was okay and—”

“You came to my house?”

“They wouldn’t let me in. Your dad came out and we argued and I said he was a bad parent and that he was too controlling. Then he said he was going to withdraw you from school and that we’d never see each other again.” Marinette didn’t mention how Gabriel had twisted her arm. She didn’t know how to tell Adrien or what his reaction might be. “And then he locked me in the gatehouse and called my parents. So that’s the other thing we have to deal with first thing tomorrow.” She nervously peeked up at him through her lashes.

Adrien was snarling like an alley cat. “He _locked_ you in the _gatehouse?”_

“Not for long…”

“He _imprisoned_ you?”

“Only for a half hour or so…”

“A _half hour?_ You were at my house for an entire _half hour_ and…how long ago was this?”

“I dunno. Two, maybe three hours ago. Does it matter?”

“Yes!” His eyes flashed and he bared his teeth. “Every second matters! I thought you were _dead!”_ He reached forward and pulled her into his lap so that he could bury his face in the crook of her neck. He didn’t want her to see the boiling storm of vicious sentiment warping his features. His anger from earlier moved under his skin like a living creature with a mind of its own. While he’d been falling to pieces on his bedroom floor, she’d been right outside trying desperately to reach him. And his father had stopped her. His father had threatened her and imprisoned her and had told her to stay away. “I’ll kill him.” He hissed into her skin. He sounded like he meant it.

Marinette sighed. “We’ll deal with it in the morning.”

“I’m never going back there.”

“Oh? What about your modeling career? All your stuff? What will you do when you need clean clothes?”

“I’m done with work. And I can buy new clothes.” He pressed a kiss to the smooth skin under her jaw and inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell and feel of her in his arms. He remembered noticing the scent of vanilla in her hair the day before, but now he knew it was due to all the time she spent in her parents’ bakery and not a shampoo or perfume. “If he doesn’t want me to see you, then I don’t want to see him.”

Marinette was flattered by how protective he was being, but she knew that no matter what he said tonight, Adrien still loved his father and would want to work things out eventually. “We’ll deal with it in the morning.” She repeated.

“…Can I stay with you tonight?” He asked without removing his face from her neck. If she said no, he didn’t want her to see the devastation it would cause. He wasn’t sure where he’d go or what he’d do if she refused him. She silently slipped her hand in his and brought them both to their feet before leading him over to the skylight.

Adrien’s clothes were still damp from the storm and Marinette was too nervous to go downstairs and find one of her father’s shirts to lend him. He stripped down to his boxers as she got under the covers. He paused for a moment, relishing the vision that was her lying in her bed and waiting expectantly for him to join her. He also silently thanked every god whose name he could remember that Plagg and Tikki had scuttled off on their own for awhile, probably to find more food. She lifted the blankets and patted the empty space next to her. He didn’t need to be told twice. They lay side by side, so close but not touching.

He was so tired. He’d never been this physically and emotionally spent before. But even still he could not bring himself to close his eyes. Long after hers had fluttered shut and her breathing slowed, he continued to watch her, unable to fully accept that she was really here.

He remembered something that he had forgotten to do and nudged her awake. “Marinette?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” She rolled over and faced away from him.

A few more minutes passed, and then…

“Marinette?”

“What now?”

“I’m really sorry…”

“Chat, I’m trying to sleep and so should you. Tomorrow is gonna be a _long_ day.”

“I know, it’s just—”

_“Sleep.”_

“Okay.”

He tried to obey her wishes. He laid down flat on his back and closed his eyes, forcing his breathing to match hers as they slipped together into slumber.

_Ladybug’s smile vanished. Her eyes widened. She was falling, falling, falling, falling…_

Adrien surged upwards, wheezing for air as his muscles shook from the aftermath of the nightmare. He was covered in sweat and there were tears drying on his cheeks.

“For the love of—!” He heard a strangled shout and the next second he felt Marinette’s hands grab his waist. She yanked him around and pulled his bare back flush against her chest, then swung her leg over his hips. She shoved a second pillow under his head and kissed his temple. “There. Is that better?” She asked as she spooned him.

Adrien’s mouth was dry. “Yeah.” He actually did feel a lot calmer with her cuddling him like this, but he was also extremely grateful that his body was too tired to react the way it normally would to such intimacy.

“Good. Now, _go to sleep.”_

This time he fell asleep to the patter of her heartbeat against his skin and the warmth of her all around him. Ladybug cradled Chat Noir all night long and for the first time since waking up in her bed with no memories of how he got there, he slept until morning. 

The caress of golden sunshine woke them early. Adrien opened his eyes to find a raven-haired beauty snoring softly on his chest, her ear placed over his heart and a small trail of drool trickling from the corner of her mouth. At first he just stared, and then the memories from the previous night came rushing back and he grinned devilishly. Ladybug loved Adrien, Chat loved Marinette, and everything between them was going to be just fine.

That was the good news. The bad news was that, after a good night’s sleep, his lower half was asking to join the party.

Adrien’s grin turned into a grimace and he tried to shift his hips away from hers without waking her up. It didn’t work and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking up at him with bemusement.

“Morning, milady.” He whispered.

She giggled, understanding his reference to her cryptic note immediately. “Morning, kitty.” She yawned. “What time is it?”

“I’m not sure—ARGH!” Adrien suddenly sat straight up and pulled the blanket up to his chin, his eyes going saucer-wide and a vibrant hue of red spreading over his entire body. Marinette heard the tiniest possible sound from behind her and spun around, her own jaw going slack with mortification.

Sabine Cheng was watching them, a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous smile on her lips. She had her feet on the ladder and only her head and shoulders came above the trap door, but that was more than enough for her to have an unobstructed view of the bed and its occupants.

 _Adrien, if you can hear me,_ Marinette thought desperately, even though she was still pretty sure the telepathy wasn’t working. _You can toss us both in a canal right now and I’d be fine with it._

“Good morning, Adrien.” Sabine said sweetly. Adrien tensed, in case her sugary demeanor was some kind of misdirection before she attacked. “I’m glad you’re here already, that makes everything much simpler. I’ll call Nathalie back and let your family know we found you and that you’re safe. Breakfast will be ready soon. Why don’t the two of you wash up and get your stories straight before coming down to join us?” She winked at the tomato-red pair and disappeared back down the ladder. Then they heard her call: “Oh, and Marinette? Be sure to put the sheets in the washing machine before you go to school.”

Marinette and Adrien stared at each other, both of them suddenly overcome by the reality of how much had changed in such a short period of time.

 _Mom knows._ Marinette thought. _Which means Dad will know. And I’ve made an enemy out of his dad, which is going to make everything harder. And soon Alya’s gonna find out. I bet Mom’s texting her right now. And I still have to tell people that Ladybug isn’t dead. Oh my god oh my god oh my god Adrien said he loves me oh my god I kissed him, like, **really** kissed him oh my god—_

“Bathroom!” She yelped, jumping out of the bed like a scalded cat. “B-Be right back!” She grabbed a random handful of clothes from her closet and headed for the trap door, but had to turn back once she realized she’d grabbed a silk nightgown and a pillowcase instead of something useful.

Adrien stayed frozen in place until after she disappeared. Then he groaned and covered his head with the blanket, wishing the earth would open and swallow him whole. He felt something small land on the top of his skull.

“You know why her mom mentioned the sheets, right?” Plagg leered.

“Stop that, Plagg. You’re just making it worse.” He heard Tikki’s high pitched voice squeaking from near his shoulder. “Look on the bright side, Adrien. At least now you know that when you’re ready to cross that bridge, you won’t have to worry about her parents’ disapproval.”

 _Where’s a canal when you need one?_ He wondered.

 

***

 

Ladybug and Chat Noir sat side by side on the tippity-top of the Eiffel Tower, enjoying one another’s company and the view.

“Are you sure she’s coming?” Chat asked.

Ladybug nodded. “I texted her and told her to meet Marinette at the tower by 8:30 and that I’d explain everything. She’ll definitely be here.”

“I think you’re right—is that her?”

Ladybug squinted in the direction he was pointing and spotted Alya’s unmistakable curls. She grinned. “Show time.”

Chat slung his arms around her waist and Ladybug notched her yo-yo on the top of the tower. With a whoop and a cheer they spiraled down to the ground, twirling around the aged iron lattices. By the time they landed they had been noticed by the milling droves. The two superheroes smiled and waved as applause broke out and cameras snapped, collecting the photographic evidence that proved once and for all that Ladybug truly was still alive. They could clearly hear a giddy voice nearby saying:

“What did I tell you, loyal viewers? No way some puny little canal could take down Ladybug! This girl is unstoppable! Stay tuned, the Ladyblog is gonna get the exclusive scoop on what I’m sure is a harrowing tale of daring deeds!”

“I think that’s good enough.” Ladybug whispered to Chat. He nodded and they leapt away, leaving a disappointed _aww_ behind them. They found a sheltered spot in a nearby alley and transformed back.

“I’d better hurry before Alya starts thinking that I’m ditching her again.” Marinette sighed. “See you at school?”

He swooped in and kissed her on the cheek. “See you at school.” She blushed happily and nodded.

Their eyes met and, even without saying anything, they both knew.

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Like I said at the beginning, this was my first Miraculous Ladybug fic and I had a great time writing it. As you may have noticed, there are a few loose ends. What is going to happen between Gabriel and Adrien? What are Marinette's parents going to do to help Adrien? Is the reporter in the park going to file assault charges against Alya? This is a one-shot. I'm aware that these are unanswered questions and I made an artistic choice to leave them unanswered. I like the idea that there is a way to do the Ultimate identity Reveal where you still have enough conflict afterwards to tell a compelling story. I figure you could get another two seasons at least out of the questions I left unanswered. Maybe someday I'll write a sequel, but I'm not making any promises.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading! All comments welcome, encouraged, cherished, and whispered sweet nothings to.
> 
> Edit: (June 16 2018) Salutations dear readers! If you liked this fic, you might also enjoy my new multichapter Miraculous Ladybug fic titled Basilisk. It's not a sequel, but I do take some of the ideas I started to develop in this fic and put them to far more extensive use. Thanks for reading!


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